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Religious Jokes-2

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Religious Jokes-2

1. "Dear Lord, Hear My Plea..."

Little Bobby came into the kitchen where his mother was making dinner. His birthday was coming up and he thought this was a good time to tell his mother what he wanted.

“Mom, I want a bike for my birthday.”

Now little Bobby was a bit of a trouble maker. He had gotten into trouble at school and at home. So his mother asked him if he thought he deserved to get a bike for his birthday. Bobby, of course, thought that he did deserve it. But Bobby’s mother, being a Christian woman, wanted Bobby to reflect on his behavior over the year.

She said - “Go to your room, Bobby, and think about how you have behaved this year. Then write a letter to God and tell him why you deserve a bike for your birthday." Little Bobby climbed up the steps to his room and sat down to write God a letter.


Dear God,
I have been a very good boy this year and I would like a bike for my birthday. I want a red one.

Your Friend,

Bobby knew that this wasn’t true. He had not been a very good boy this year, so he tore up the letter and started all over again.


Dear God,
I have been an “OK” Boy this year. I still would really like a bike for my birthday.


Bobby knew that he could not send this letter to God either. So, Bobby wrote another letter to Him.


Dear God,
I know I haven’t been a good boy this year. I am very sorry. I will be a good boy next year if you just send me a bike for my birthday this year, please.

Thank you,

Bobby knew, although it was true, this letter was not going to get him a bike, so he was very upset. He thought for a while, then he went down stairs and told his Mom that he was going to church. Bobby’s mother thought that her plan had worked. She was very happy but as Bobby looked very sad, she said to him - “Just be home in time for dinner."

Bobby walked down the street to the church on the corner. He went into the church and up to the alter. He looked around to see if any one was there. Bobby bent down and picked up a statue of the Virgin Mary, slipped it under his shirt and ran out of the Church, down the street, into the house, and up to his room. He shut the door and sat down with a piece of paper and a pen and began to write his letter to God.




2. Where is His Hat?

One old Jewish man was walking on the beach with his only grandson, when a giant wave crashed onshore, sweeping the boy out to sea. The man looked up to the Heavens and said - "Oh Lord, This is my only grandson, how can you take him away from me like this? My son will not understand. My daughter-in-law will die from grief."

The then another wave came by, and deposited the boy at the old man's feet.
The grandfather looked to the Heavens again and said - "But he had a hat also."

3. Use Your Own Dirt...

Once world's top scientists decided they had advanced to the point that God was no longer needed. So they deputed one of them to inform God about their decision. The scientist went to a forest and prayed for God to come. Poof! God appeared in front of him and asked what did he want.

The scientist said, "I've been sent to tell you that we can now create life in the lab so you are no longer wanted." God said, "Hummm! So you want me to quit? Well first lets have a *person making* contest." The scientists agreed to the challenge and grabbed a handful of dirt in order to make a human being. God immediately stopped him saying, "Hey! Use your OWN dirt!"

4. A Christmas Prayer by a Child - Short and Sweet.

"Dear God, this year, please send clothes for all those poor ladies in Daddy's computer.... .. Amen" !!!

5. Justice by Solomon

Two women came before wise King Solomon, dragging between them a young man.

"This young man agreed to marry my daughter," said one.
"No! He agreed to marry MY daughter," said the other.
And so they haggled before the King, until he called for silence.

"Bring me my biggest sword," said Solomon, "and I shall hew the young man in half. Each of you shall receive a half."

"Sounds good to me," said the first lady.
But the other woman said, "Oh Sire, do not spill innocent blood. Let the other woman's daughter marry him."

The wise king did not hesitate a moment. "The accountant must marry the first lady's daughter," he proclaimed.

"But she was willing to hew him in two!" exclaimed the king's court.
"Indeed," said wise King Solomon. "That shows she is the TRUE mother-in-law."

(6) God's Great Sense of Humor

God was in the process of creating the universe. And he was explaining to his subordinates -
"Look everything should be in balance. For example, after every 10 deer there should be a lion. Look here my fellow angels....
Here is the country of the United States . I have blessed them with prosperity and money.
But at the same time I have given them insecurity tension....
And here is Africa . I have given them beautiful nature. But at the same time, I have given them climatic extremes.
And here is South America . I have given them lots of forests. But at the same time, I have given them lesser Land so that they would have to cut off the forests...
So you see fellows, everything should be in balance."

One of the angels asked...
"God, what is this extremely beautiful country here?"
God said = "Ahah... that is the crown piece of all the countries.
"India"', My most precious creation. It has understanding friendly people, sparkling streams and serene mountains.
A culture which speaks of the great tradition that they live. Technologically brilliant, and with a heart of gold..... "

The angel was quite surprised - "But God you said everything should be in balance."
God replied -- "Look, I have given them........ .."Politicians".



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Created by Sushma Gupta On May 27, 2001
Modified on 09/24/13