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International Jokes-20

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International Jokes-20

1. Who Said Man Can't Think Quickly?

A husband and wife were traveling by car from Johannesburg to Cape Town in South Africa. After a tiresome long distance of traveling, they were too tired to continue, so they stopped at a nice hotel and took a room and planned to sleep for four hours and get back on the road. When they checked out from the hotel four hours later, the desk clerk charged them R750. The man exploded and demanded the reason for such a high price.

The clerk told him R750 was the standard rate. The man asked to speak to the Manager. The Manager listened to the man and explained the hotel had an Olympic sized pool and a huge conference centre, and they featured spectacular shows available to the clients. "The best entertainers from Jo' burg, Cape Town, Durban perform here." he explained.

No matter what facility the Manager mentioned, the man replied, "But we didn't use it!" "Well, it was here, so you could have used it." replied the manager. "But we didn't!!" exclaimed the now rather angry man. The manager was unmoved, and finally the man gave up and agreed to pay. He wrote a check and gave it to the manager.

The manager was surprised to see the check. "But sir," he said," this check is made out for only R200!" "That's right," said the man," I charged you R550 for sleeping with my wife." "But I didn't!" exclaimed the manager. "Well," the man replied, "She was here, so you could have." and the men stepped out of the hotel.

2. Chinese Products

One African man married a Chinese woman. After a while they had a child. Unfortunately that child died after two months.
An African woman started saying, "I knew it, I knew it."
People asked - "What did you know?"
The woman said - "I knew it, that Chinese products don't last long."

3. Reactions

An insect falls into a mug of beer...  These are the reactions of different people --

Englishman: Throws his mug away and walks out
American:  Takes the insect out and drinks the beer
Chinese:  Eats the insect and throws the beer away
Japanese:  Drinks the beer with insect as it is coming free
Indian:  Sells the beer to the American and insect to the Chinese and gets two new mugs of beer. ......INTELLIGENT INDIANS
--Accuses the Indian for throwing insect into his beer
--Relates the issue to Kashmeer
--Asks the Chinese for Military aid
--Takes a loan from the American to buy one more mug of beer.

4. A Jew and a Taliban

A fleeing Taliban, desperate for water, was plodding through the Afagaan desert when he saw something far off in the distance. Hoping to find water, he hurried toward the oasis, only to find a little old Jewish man at a small stand, selling ties.

The Taliban asked, "Do you have water?"
The Jewish man replied, "I have no water. Would you like to buy a tie? They are only $5 each."
The Taliban shouted, "Idiot! I do not need an over-priced tie. I need water! I should kill you, but I must find water first!"
"OK," said the old Jewish man, "It does not matter that you do not want to buy a tie and that you hate me. I will show you that I am more reasonable than that. If you continue over that hill to the East for about two miles, you will find a lovely restaurant. It has all the ice cold water you need. Shalom."

Cursing, the Taliban staggered away over the hill.
Several hours later he staggered back, almost dead and said, "Your BLOODY brother won't let me in without a tie."

5. See the Guts

On a ship, the Project managers of three different companies belonging to 3 different nations were traveling with their Trainee guys. They started an argument on whose Trainee engineer had more guts.

The American PM called for one of his men and told him to jump off and take ONE round swimming around the moving ship. The Trainee did as he was commanded. The American PM boasted of by saying, "See the guts."

Now the German PM called out for one of his men and asked him to take TWO similar rounds around the moving ship. The Trainee did as he was told. When he came back from the water the German PM said, "See the guts."

Now the Indian PM called out for his most courageous man and asked him to take THREE similar rounds. The Trainee promptly replied, "Why the hell should I?" The PM proudly said, "See the guts."

6. Blue Pigeon

The Mayor of London was very worried about a plague of pigeons in the city Center. He Could not remove the pigeons from the city. All of London was full of pigeon poop, the people of London could not walk on the pavements, or drive on the roads. It Was costing a fortune to keep the streets and pavements clean.

One Day a man came to the Town Hall and offered the Mayor a Proposition - "I Can rid your beautiful city of its plague of pigeons without any cost to the city. But, you must promise not to ask me any questions. Or, you can pay me one million pounds to ask one question." The mayor considered the offer briefly and accepted the free proposition.

The next day the man climbed to the top of the Nelson's Column, opened his coat, and released a blue pigeon. The blue pigeon circled in the air and flew up into the bright blue London sky. All The pigeons in London saw the blue pigeon and gathered up in the air behind the bird. The London pigeons followed the blue pigeon as she flew eastwards out of the city. The next day the blue pigeon returned completely alone to the man on top of Nelson's Column.

The Mayor was very impressed. He felt the man and the blue pigeon had performed a wonderful miraculous service to rid London of the plague of pigeons. Even though the man with the pigeon had charged nothing, the mayor presented him with a check for 1 million pounds and told the man that, indeed, he did have a question to ask and even though they had agreed to no fee and the man had rid the city of pigeons, he decided to pay the 1 million pounds just to get to ask ONE question. The Man accepted the money and told the mayor to ask his ONE Question.

The Mayor asked: "Do You have a blue MUSLIM too?"

7. When a Man Accidentally Tears a Skirt of a Girl...

1. Japan Tokyo
A man accidentally tore a girl's short miniskirt in Tokyo. Before he had a chance to apologize, the girl did a 90 degree bow, and said: "I am sorry to give you trouble! The quality of my skirt is not good." Then she took out a pin, put the skirt back together and left.

2 New York, Time Square
A man accidentally tore a girl's miniskirt. Before he had a chance to react, the woman pulled out a business card and gave it to him saying:

"This is my lawyer's card. He will contact you about this sexual harassment. Better you prepare yourself, and then we will see you in court."

3. Paris, France
A French man accidentally tore a girls' miniskirt. Before he opened his mouth, the young girl said with a smile: "If you do not mind, a red rose can represent your apology." The French man bought her a rose, and then they went to a bar, and lastly went to a hotel discussing what was in the mini skirt.

4. Thames, England
In the Church Square by Thames, an English man accidentally tore the mini skirt of a young lady. Before he could open his mouth, the young lady covered her torn spot, and then said with a blush on her face: "Do you mind taking me home sir? I live very close by…" The English man took his jacket off, put it on her shoulders, called a cab and took her home safely.

5. China, Chong Qing, China:
A man accidentally cut open the miniskirt of a young lady. Before the man could say anything, the young lady slapped the guy and shouted. "You, sex maniac. Dare to take advantage of me; I will make sure you go to the labor camp…"

6. Taiwan Shimending
A man accidentally tore a girl's short miniskirt. Before the guy could say a word, the girl smiled and said: "We have not settled on the price yet, and you want to inspect the merchandise?"

7. Korea
On the street of Yinchong, a man accidentally tore a girl's miniskirt. Before the man could speak, the girl gave him a round kick, and then said: "Don' t you know that I have a second degree black belt in Tai Kwan Dao."

8.Bangkok, Thailand
A man accidentally tore the miniskirt of an 18 years old girl. Before the man could apologize, the girl said with a Buddha hand gesture: "No worries honey, ……we are all men."

9. India
A man accidentally tore the miniskirt of a girl. Before he could say anything, Barkha Datt, Rajdeep Sardesai and Arnab Goswami pounced on him and accused him of attempted rape and started panel discussion on what to do with him. 



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Created by Sushma Gupta On May 27, 2001
Modified on 09/24/13