Miscellanea | Work Related Jokes
|Work Related Jokes-3|
Work Related Jokes-3
1. How to Recruit the Right Person For the Job?
Put about 100 bricks in some particular order in a closed room with an open window.
If they are counting the bricks.
If they are recounting them..
If they have messed up the whole place with the bricks.
If they are arranging the bricks in some strange order.
If they are throwing the bricks at each other.
If they are sleeping.
If they have broken the bricks into pieces.
If they are sitting idle.
If they say they have tried different combinations,
yet not a brick has been moved.
If they have already left for the day.
If they are staring out of the window.
And then last but not the least,
A Similar to the Above One
Take the prospective employees you are trying to place and put them in a room with only a table and two chairs. Leave them alone for two hours, without any instruction. At the end of that time, go back and see what they are doing.
If they have taken the table apart, put them in Engineering.
2. How the IT Industry Made it?
Once upon a time the government with Ruling Party XYZ... had a vast scrap yard in the middle of a desert.
The Ruling Party said... - "Someone
might steal the scrap from it at night."
Then the Ruling Party said... - "How
does the watchman do his job without instruction?"
Then the Ruling Party said... - "How
will we know the night watchman is doing the tasks correctly?"
Then the Ruling Party said... - "How are these people going to get paid?"
Then the Ruling Party said... - "Who will be accountable for all of these people?"
Then the Ruling Party said... - "We have had this command in operation for
one year and we are $18,000 over budget, we must cutback overall cost."
Moral of the story: SAME AS - "Current Situation In IT Industries"
3. A Man Without Ears
There was this man who was in a horrible accident, and was injured. But the only permanent damage he suffered was the amputation of both of his ears. As a result of this 'unusual' handicap, he was very self-conscious about his having no ears. Because of the accident, he received a large sum of money from the insurance company. It was always his dream to own his own business, so he decided with all this money he had, he now had the means to own a business. So he went out and purchased a small, but expanding computer firm.
But he realized that he had no business knowledge at all, so he decided that he would have to hire someone to run the business. He picked out three top candidates, and interviewed each of them. The first interview went really well. He really liked this guy. His last question for this first candidate was, "Do you notice anything unusual about me?" The guy said, "Now that you mention it, you have no ears." The man got really upset and threw the guy out. The second interview went even better than the first one. This candidate was much better than the first.
Again, to conclude the interview, the man asked the same question again, "Do you notice anything unusual about me?" This guy also noticed, "Yes, you have no ears." The man was really upset again, and threw this second candidate out.
Then he had the third interview.. The third candidate was even better than the second, the best out of all of them. Almost certain that he wanted to hire this guy, the man once again asked, "Do you notice anything unusual about me?" The guy replied, "Yeah, you're wearing contact lenses." Surprised, the man then asked, 'Wow! That's quite perceptive of you! How could you tell?" The guy burst out laughing and said, "Well, You can't wear glasses if you don't have any ears!"
4. Oh Say, Can You See?
Passengers on a small commuter plane are waiting for the flight to leave. The entrance opens, and two men walk up the aisle, dressed in pilot uniforms -- both are wearing dark glasses, one is using a seeing-eye dog, and the other is tapping his way up the aisle with a cane.
Nervous laughter spreads through the cabin; but the men enter the cockpit, the door closes, and the engines start up. The passengers begin glancing nervously around, searching for some sign that this just a little practical joke. None is forthcoming. The plane moves faster and faster down the runway, and people at the windows realize that they're headed straight for the water at the edge of the airport territory.
As it begins to look as though the plane will never take off, that it will plow into the water, panicked screams fill the cabin--but at that moment, the plane lifts smoothly into the air.
The passengers relax and laugh a little sheepishly, and soon they have all retreated into their magazines, secure in the knowledge that the plane is in good hands. Up in the cockpit, the copilot turns to the pilot and says,
"You know, Bob, one of these days, they're going to scream too late, and we're all gonna die...
A military memo: "You are not an authorized signer. Please erase your initials and initial your erasure."
Created by Sushma Gupta On May 27, 2001
Modified on 09/24/13