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International Jokes-10

Some Irish jokes

1. About Pedestrians

Paddy was patiently waiting on the sidewalk in New York. He was and watching the traffic cop in action on a busy street crossing. From time to time, the cop stopped the flow of traffic and shouted, "Okay, pedestrians." Then he'd allow the traffic to pass.

He'd done this several times, and Paddy still stood on the sidewalk.
After the cop had shouted, 'Pedestrians!' for the tenth time, Paddy went over to him and said, "This is not fair. Is it not about time ye let the Catholics across, too?"

2. See, I am Dead

Gallagher opened the morning newspaper and was dumbfounded to read in the obituary column that he had died.

He quickly phoned his best friend, Finney.
"Did you see the newspaper of today?" asked Gallagher, "They say I died."
"Yes, I read it!" replied Finney, "Where are ye callin' from, Heaven, or Hell?"

3. He Has Done it Again

An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut. The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest's breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car.
He says, "Sir, have you been drinking?"
"Just water." says the priest.
The trooper says, "Then why do I smell wine?"
The priest looks at the bottle and says, "Good Lord! He's done it again!"

4. Parking Place

Paddy was driving round and round in the town-centre in a sweat because he had an important meeting and couldn't find a parking place.

Looking up to Heaven, he said, "Lord take pity on me. If you find me a parking place, I will go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of me life and give up me Irish Whiskey!"

Miraculously, a parking place appeared. Paddy looked up again and said, "Never mind, Lord, I found one."

 
 

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Created by Sushma Gupta On May 27, 2001
Contact: sushmajee@yahoo.com
Modified on 09/24/13