Miscellanea | International Jokes
Two radical Arab terrorists boarded a flight out of London. One took a window seat and the other one sat next to him in the middle seat. Just before takeoff, a Rabbi sat down in the aisle seat.
After takeoff, the Rabbi kicked his shoes off, wiggled his toes and was settling in when the Arab in the window seat said, "I need to get up and get a coke." "There is no need to get up," said the Rabbi, "I'm in the aisle seat, I'll get it for you." As soon as he left, one of the Arabs picked up the Rabbi's shoe and spat in it.
When the Rabbi returned with the coke, the other Arab said, "That looks good, I'd really like one, too." Again, the Rabbi obligingly went to fetch it. While he was gone the other Arab picked up the Rabbi's other shoe and spat in it.
When the Rabbi returned, they all sat back and enjoyed the flight. As
the plane was landing, the Rabbi slipped his feet into his shoes and knew
immediately what had happened. He leaned over and asked his Arab neighbors,
"Why does it have to be this way? How long must this go on? This fighting
between our nations! This hatred! This animosity! This spitting in shoes and
pissing in cokes?"
2. Some Airline Jokes - Ladies and Gentlemen
Often, airline attendants make an effort to make the "in-flight safety lecture" a bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported:
An airline had no assigned seating, you just sit where you want, so passengers were apparently having a hard time choosing their seat, when a flight attendant announced, "People, people, we're not picking out furniture here, find a seat and get in it!"
On landing, the stewardess said, "Please be sure to take all of your belongings. If you're going to leave anything, please make sure it's something we'd like to have."
"As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave your children or spouses."
"There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane."
"Thank you for flying Delta Business Express. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride."
"In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with more than one small child, pick your favorite."
"We do feature a smoking section on this flight; if you must smoke, contact a member of the flight crew and we will escort you to the wing of the airplane.
"Smoking in the lavatories is prohibited. Any person caught smoking in the lavatories will be asked to leave the plane immediately."
"Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but we'll try to have them fixed before we arrive there. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you, or your money, more than Southwest Airlines."
"Your seat cushions can be used for flotation; and, in the event of an emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them with our compliments."
An Arab's son sent an e-mail to his Dad saying: "Dear Dad, Berlin is
wonderful, people are nice and I really like it here, but Dad, I am bit
ashamed to arrive to my college in my Gold Mercedes, when all my Teachers
travel by train.
Created by Sushma Gupta On May 27, 2001
Modified on 09/24/13