Miscellanea | General Jokes
1. The Oldest Profession
Three men reflected about the oldest profession.
"Well, that's easy", the surgeon said. "Eve was made by cutting one rib out of Adam's. So definitely surgery is the oldest profession.
Smiled the engineer: "Long before Adam and Eve, there was nothing but chaos. it took an engineer to create earth from chaos."
Now it was the turn of politician who smiled: "And who do you think
was responsible for this chaos?"
2. Farmer John vs. Mrs. Farmer John...
A farmer walks into an
attorney’s office wanting to file for a divorce.
3. What is Money?
What is money?
Exchange of what?
What is that whatever?
Like shoelaces and sunlight.
Why is it so?
So what is widely available can have no cash value?
So to have value a commodity must be scarce?
How about Integrity?
So something must be wanted and then be scarce to have cash value?
What is credit value?
That is a strange word.
Does this Market sell everything which is actually required.
It decides what it decides, by implication?
And if it decides otherwise?
Who is Stock Exchange?
Thanks for your time.
Uh, what is Time?
Exeunt left stage.
4. Welcome to Wall Street...
Once upon a time in a village in India, a man announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys for $10.
The villagers seeing there were many monkeys around, went out to the forest and started catching them. The man bought thousands of monkeys at $10, but, as the supply started to diminish, the villagers stopped their efforts. The man further announced that he would now buy them at $20. This renewed the efforts of the villagers and they started catching monkeys again.
Soon the supply diminished even further and people started going back to their farms. The offer rate increased to $25 and the supply of monkeys became so little that it was an effort to even see a monkey, let alone catch it!
The man now announced that he would buy monkeys at $50! However, since he had to go to the city on some business, his assistant would now act as buyer, on his behalf.
In the absence of the man, the assistant told the villagers: "Look at all these monkeys in the big cage that the man has collected. I will sell them to you at $35 and when he returns from the city, you can sell them back to him for $50 each."
The villagers squeezed together their savings and bought all the monkeys.
Then they never saw the man or his assistant again, only monkeys everywhere!
5. Don't Lie to your Mother
Once a mother comes to visit her son Kumar for dinner..... who lives with a girl roommate Sunita. During the course of the meal, his mother couldn't help but notice how pretty Kumar's roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between the two, but this visit had only made her more curious.
Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Kumar and his roommate than met the eye. Reading his mom's thoughts, Kumar volunteered - "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Sunita and I are just roommates, nothing else."
About a week later, Sunita came to Kumar saying - "Ever since your mother
came to dinner, I've been unable to find the silver plate. You don't suppose
she took it, do you?"
Several days later, Kumar received an email from his Mother which read :
Don't Lie to Your Mother...... .....
Created by Sushma Gupta On May 27, 2001
Modified on 09/24/13