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12-God's Tenure

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Why God Couldn't Get Tenure
See also    God

My daughter is an Associate Professor in Chemistry.
A Trustee of her University reached on the following reasons after a long analysis as Why God Couldn't Get Tenure

1. God has only one Publication.

2. It was in Hebrew.

3. It had no references.

4. It was not published in any peer-reviewed journal.

5. There was some doubt that God actually wrote it.

6. God may have created the world, but what has He done since?

7. The scientific community can't replicate God's results.

8. God never got permission from the ethics board to use human subjects.

9. When one experiment awry, God tried to cover it up by drowning the subjects.

10. God rarely came to class and just told to "read the book".

11. God expelled the first two students.

12. God's office hours were irregular and classes were sometimes held on a mountain top.

13. Although there were only 10 requirements, most students failed.

This was attributed to Senator Orrin Hatch.
[May 28, 1996]

GOD or DOG (Spelled Backward)

When God had made the earth and sky,
The flowers and the trees.
He then made all the animals,
The fish, the birds and bees.
And when at last He'd finished,
Not one was quite the same.
He said, "I' ll walk this world of mine,
And give each one a name."
And so He traveled far and wide
And everywhere He went,
A little creature followed Him
Until its strength was spent.
When all were named upon the earth
And in the sky and sea,
The little creature said, "Dear Lord,
There's not one left for me."
Kindly the Father said to him,
"I' ve left you to the end.
I've turned my own name back to front
And called you dog, my friend."

2. In 1808 the English poet Lord Byron* expressed similar thoughts in his famous poem *Epitaph to a Dog:

But the poor dog, in life the firmest friend,
The first to welcome, foremost to defend,
*Whose honest heart is still his master's own,*
Who labors, fights, lives, breathes for him alone,
Unhonored falls, unnoticed all his worth,
Denied in heaven the soul he held on earth
While man, vain insect! Hopes to be forgiven,
And claims himself a sole exclusive heaven.

3. I am reminded of Dharm Raaj Yudhishgthir followed by a dog to Heaven



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Created by Sushma Gupta On May 27, 2001
Modified on 06/16/13