Miscellanea | Misc


Home | Miscellanea | Misc

11-Children Learn...

Previous | Next

Children Learn What They Live
A cloth merchant, Anupam Cloth House, gave me the following write up in 1977.
Since then I had kept it carefully.
I tried to follow it in my house, as I thought it was very close to truth.
I could not follow it completely, 100%. Can you?

If a child lives with Criticism - he learns to Condemn

If a child lives with Ridicule - he learns to be Shy

If a child lives with Shame - he learns to feel Guilty

If a child lives with Tolerance - he learns to be patient

If a child lives with Encouragement - he learns Confidence

If a child lives with Praise - he learns to Appreciate

If a child lives with Fairness - he learns Justice

If a child lives with Security - he learns to have Faith

If a child lives with Approval - he learns to like Himself

If a child lives with Acceptance and Friendship

He learns to find Love in the world

[Jan, 1977]

Here is a list of Toxic Vocabulary words. Notice when you or other people use them.
1. But: Negates any words that are stated before it.
2. Try: Presupposes failure.
3. If: Presupposes that you may not.
4. Might: It does nothing definite. It leaves options for your listener.
5. Would Have: Past tense that draws attention to things that didn't actually happen.
6. Should Have: Past tense that draws attention to things that didn't actually happen (and implies guilt.)
7. Could Have: Past tense that draws attention to things that didn't actually happen but the person tries to take credit as if it did happen.
8. Can't/Don't: These words force the listener to focus on exactly the opposite of what you want.

This is a classic mistake that parents and coaches make without knowing the damage of this linguistic error.

Toxic phrase: "Don't drop the ball!"
Likely result: Drops the ball
Better language: "Catch the ball!"

Toxic phrase: "You shouldn't watch so much television."
Likely result: Watches more television..
Better language: "I read too much television makes people stupid. You might find yourself turning that TV off and picking up one of those books more often!"

Exercise: Take a moment to write down all the phrases you use on a daily basis or any Toxic self-talk that you have noticed yourself using. Write these phrases down so you will begin to catch yourself as they occur and change them. Dream is not what you see in sleep
is the thing which does not let you sleep.

A to Z of Parenting

A ccept your child for what he/she is, not what you want him/her to be.
B e consistent in your behavior towards the child.
C riticise the deed, never the doer i.e. the child.
D o activities together as a family.
E ncourage sibling harmony by not comparing them.
F ollow through if you make threats.
G ifts can never be a substitute for your presence.
H itting teaches your child to hit others.
I nstill values in the child by being a role model.
J oy of eating together at least one meal helps in bonding.
K eep increasing freedom as your child becomes responsible.
L ove your child completely and unconditionally.
M otivate your child with praise instead of criticism.
N egotiating with your child is not a sign of weakness.
O ffer suggestions but let your child make the decision.
P articipate in events which are important to your child.
Q uit labeling children as "naughty boy" or "clumsy girl".
R estrict television, video and computer games.
S pend time with your child with diversion.
T each your child that choices have consequences.
U se bedtime to discuss what has happened during the day.
V isualize what qualities you want in your child as an adult.
W ork out a routine and follow it.
X cite the child's interest in books by providing material.
Y our child needs limits to make him/her feel secure.
Z estful fun of the childıs short-comings lowers his self esteem.

India Today- June 14, 2004 Courtesy: Dr. Pervin Dadachandji, consultant psychiatrist



Home | Miscellanea | Misc


Previous | Next

Created by Sushma Gupta On May 27, 2001
Modified on 06/10/13