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USA Jokes-1

1. Our Great Ex-President George Bush

A very careful George Bush was driving his car very carefully. He saw a newly installed traffic camera in his city, so when he passed from that point, the camera flashed at him.
George told his co-passenger - "I am going to embarrass the Police Department. I am absolutely sure that I am well within the speed limit and I have not ignored red light."

So he went further, turned around and came to the same street again. As he passed that point again, the camera again winked at him. This time Bush returned the wink with a great smile, which he called sexy, and went on. he had fun, so he kept returning, smiling every time when the camera winked, and asking his co-passenger his speed and signal light and street traffic signs etc to be his witness.

He did this five times and then with a big loud laugh returned his home. In a couple of days he received five traffic violation tickets for not wearing his seat belts.

2. Debt Free

A man came to a hotel, kept a 100 Euro note on the counter and said to the clerk - "I need a room in this hotel."
"Yes, Sir."
"You keep this note, and let me go and see the room first if I like it."
"Perfect." The man went upstairs to see the room.

As the man went upstairs, the clerk ran to the butcher shop and paid his debt of 100 Euro. The butcher was happy.
The butcher also immediately went to the pig seller and paid his debt. The pig seller was also very happy.
The pig seller immediately went to the prostitute he went yesterday and paid his debt to her. The prostitute was also very happy.
The prostitute immediately went to the same hotel, in which the man wanted to stay, and paid that note to the clerk, saying that she was very grateful to him to let her have the room yesterday with her client.

In the meantime, the man came down and said to the hotel clerk - "Sorry, I did not like the room, I want my note back."
The clerk gave the note back to the man and the man went away.

Thus the whole town was debt-free. That is what America is doing.

3. Made in USA

This is what a candidate spoke in USA while making a speech for an up coming election --

"Other than the US $$, nothing is made in the USA anymore! Actually, this is pretty sad.
John Smith started the day early having set his alarm clock (Made in Japan) for 6 am
While his coffeepot (Made in China) was perking,
he shaved with his electric razor (Made in Hong Kong)
He put on a dress shirt (Made in Sri Lanka),
designer jeans (Made in Singapore) and
tennis shoes (MADE IN KOREA)
After cooking his breakfast in his new electric skillet (MADE IN INDIA)
he sat down with his calculator (MADE IN MEXICO) to see how much he could spend today.
After setting his watch (MADE IN TAIWAN)
to the radio (MADE IN INDIA)
he got in his car (MADE IN GERMANY)
filled it with GAS (from Saudi Arabia) and continued his search
for a good paying AMERICAN JOB.
At the end of yet another discouraging and fruitless day checking his Computer (Made in Malayesia),
John decided to relax for a while.
He put on his sandals (Made in Brazil),
poured himself a glass of wine (MADE IN FRANCE)
and turned on his TV (MADE IN INDONESIA),
and then wondered why he can't find a good paying job in AMERICA

4. The Gold Urinal

Before Obama was elected President he went to see Bill and Hillary for some campaign advice, at their spacious home.
After drinking several glasses of iced tea, he asked Bill Clinton if he could use his personal bathroom. When he entered Clinton's private toilet, he was astonished to see that Clinton had a solid gold urinal! Wow!

That afternoon, Obama told his wife, Michelle, about the urinal.
"Just think," he said, "when I am President, I too want to have a gold urinal just like that."

Days later, when Michelle had lunch with Hillary, she told Hillary how impressed Obama had been at his discovery of the fact that, in his private bathroom, Bill had a gold urinal.
That evening, when Bill and Hillary were getting ready for bed, Hillary smiled and said to Bill - ""I found out now who peed in your saxophone."



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Created by Sushma Gupta On May 27, 2001
Modified on 09/24/13