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Marital Jokes-10

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Marital Jokes-10

1. The Geography of a Woman

Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa - half discovered, half wild, fertile and naturally beautiful!

Between 23 and 30, a woman is like Europe - well-developed and open to trade, especially for something of real value.

Between 31 and 35, a woman is like Spain - very hot, relaxed, and convinced of her own beauty.

Between 36 and 40, a woman is like Greece - gently aging, but still a warm and desirable place to visit.

Between 41 and 50, a woman is like Great Britain - with a glorious and all-conquering past.

Between 51 and 60, a woman is like Israel - has been through war, doesn't make the same mistakes twice, and takes care of business.

Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Canada - cool, self-preserving, but open to meeting new people.

After 70, she becomes Tibet - wildly beautiful, with a mysterious past and the wisdom of the ages....
An adventurous spirit and a thirst for spiritual knowledge.

The Geography of a Man

Between 1 and 80, a man is like Iran - ruled by nuts.

2. Three Wishes

A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods.
She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap. The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes."

The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes. Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten!"
The woman said, "That's okay."

For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world.
The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women will flock to".
The woman replied, "That's okay, because still I will be the most beautiful Woman of the world and he will have eyes only for me."
So, KAZAM-she's the most beautiful Woman in the world!

For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world.
The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the world. And he will be ten times richer than you."
The woman said, "That's okay, because what's mine is his and what's his is mine."
So, KAZAM-she's the richest woman in the world!

The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, "I'd like a mild heart attack."

Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them.

Attention female readers: This is the end of the joke for you. Stop here and continue feeling good.

Male readers: Please scroll down.

The man had a heart attack ten times milder than his wife.
Moral of the story: Women are really dumb but think they're really smart.
Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show.

3. Poor Husbands

Position of a Husband Is just like a Split AC
No matter however Loud he is in the Outdoor
He is designed to remain Silent indoor...

"Husband is one who is the head of the family,
but his wife is the neck, and whichever way she turns, he goes."

A man in Hell asked Devil: "Can I make a call to my Wife?"
After making call he asked how much to pay.
Devil : Nothing, Hell to hell is Free.

Husband: "Do you know the meaning of WIFE?
It means, Without Information, Fighting Everytime!"
Wife: "No darling, it means - With Idiot For Ever."

Wife: "I wish I was a newspaper, So I'd be in your hands all day."
Husband: "I too wish that you were a newspaper, So I could have a new one every day."

Doctor: "Your husband needs rest and peace. Here are some sleeping Pills."
Wife: "When must I give them to him?"
Doctor: "They are not for you, they are for you."

Wife: "I had to marry you to find out how stupid you are.."
Husband: "You should have known it the minute I asked you to marry me."

Wife: "What will you give me if I climb the great Mount Everest?"
Husband: "A lovely Push...!"

4. Family Problems...

Two men, one American and an Indian were sitting in a bar and discussing about their family problems. The Indian man said to the American man, "We have a very big problem in India, that we can't marry the one whom we love, You know my parents are forcing me to get married to this so called homely girl whom I haven't even met once'; she is from a village where I come from. We call this arranged marriage. I don't want to marry a woman whom I haven't seen even... I told them that openly and now I have a hell lot of family problems."

The American smiled and said, "Do you call it a family problem? Listen to my problem - in America we can marry the one whom we love...... so I married a widow whom I deeply loved and dated for 3 years. She had a beautiful daughter too. After a couple of years, my father fell in love with my step-daughter and married her, so my father became my son-in-law and I became my father's father-in-law.

Now, legally my daughter is my mother and my wife is my grandmother. More problems occurred when I had a son. My son is my father's brother and so he is my uncle.

Situation turned worse when my father also had a son. Now my father's son, my brother, is my grandson. Ultimately, I have become my own grandfather and I am my own grandson."


5. Distinction Between Complete and Finished

Here's a distinction between Complete and Finished
No English dictionary has been able to explain the difference between the two words Complete and Finished, in a way that's easy to understand. Some people say there is no difference between Complete and Finished.

I beg to differ because there is a difference between Complete and Finished.
The difference is when you marry the right woman, you are "Complete".
And when you marry the wrong one, you are "Finished"!

And when the right one catches you with the wrong one, you are "Completely finished"!!!



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Created by Sushma Gupta On May 27, 2001
Modified on 09/24/13