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Marriage Quotes

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Marriage Quotes

I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.
--David Bissonette

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
--Sacha Guitry

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.
--Hemant Joshi

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.

The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want?"
--Sigmund Freud

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.

Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
--Henny Youngman

I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.
--Sam Kinison

There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage.
--James Holt McGavran

I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't.
--Patrick! Murray

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you're right, shut up.

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once...

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
--Henny Youngman

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
--Rodney Dangerfield

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
--Milton Berle

Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.

A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."

First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."

A woman is like a computer that records everything and forgets nothing, and recalls something that is sure to hurt in the strongest manner at the weakest spot.

About Women

The fact is this--

--If you lie to a woman, she will not believe it.
--If you tell her the truth, she will not believe it.
--A woman believes what she wants to believe.
--She is the master of the world of her mind. Let nobody enter the world of the queen. If he enters invited, it is a sweet prison. If he enters uninvited, it is hot hell. And, in either situation, she presents herself as the innocent victim.

One woman brings you in his world crying, while other makes sure that you continue to do so.



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Created by Sushma Gupta On May 27, 2001
Modified on 09/24/13