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Lawyers' Jokes-5

The following are not the legal jokes but shows how a lawyer could fight the case in such an odd situation. By reading them you must appreciate the point the lawyer makes in favor of his client.

1. Experience

An old woman was walking on the road, that she was hit by a car and her one leg broke.
The case was filed in the court. The old woman's lawyer pleaded that the driver was driving the car carelessly and that is how his client's leg was broken.
The driver's lawyer said - "Your Honor, It is not possible, as my client is driving the car for 25 years. he cannot do this."
The old woman's lawyer said - "Your Honor Sir, If his client has the experience of driving for 25 years; my client has the experience of 65 years of experience of walking on the road."


2. Pound of Flesh

This is from Shakespeare's famous story "The Merchant of Venice".


3. Poo or Pee

This is from a story I heard in my childhood.
Once an ordinary man did an extraordinary work for a king. The king was very pleased with that man and asked him to ask for anything he wanted. The man asked him for some time to think. The king allowed him to think over. The man went away and thought and thought and thought of the way to degrade him.

Next day he went to the king and said - "I want to poo on your throne." the whole royal court got stunned to hear this. The king himself got stunned hearing this. He thought and thought for some time but could not find the way to evade this request. What to do? He consulted his courtiers also, but all of them could not find any way. Everybody was worried with this demand. The king asked the man to come after 2 days.

During these 2 days, all kept thinking and finding the way for this. At last one courtier came up with the solution of this problem and asked the king not to worry about anything and grant his request the day he comes in the court. On the fixed day that man came and waited for the permission. The king called that courtier and asked him to deal with him.

The courtier came forward and asked the man - "Do you want to poo on king's throne?"
"Yes."
"All right. You may do this, but there is one condition that you will only poo there, not pee."
The man did not expect this proposal, he also got stunned hearing this. How could he do that? When he will poo, he will have to pee also. How can he stop peeing there? At last he got defeated and abandoned the idea of poo on king's throne. He asked for king's forgiveness and went away.


Some More Odd Cases

Clearly, the court hadn't denied jurisdiction, nor had it denied God's existence. And if God existed, it also followed God was omniscient, and therefore, had notice of the lawsuit, regardless of whether summons was served or not. Tort law is one area where there have been apparently bizarre judgments, perhaps inevitable, because the etymology of the word tort means twisted, as opposed to straight. Tort arises when there are civil damages through negligence and there is no contractual obligation. Damages imposed aren't always compensatory and there is a punitive element too.

People may have forgotten about Stella Liebeck, but there are annual Stella Awards, inspired by that judgment. In 1992, Stella was 79 and sued McDonald's in New Mexico, winning $2.9 million in damages. She purchased coffee, took the lid off the container and while driving, placed the container without the lid between her knees. McDonald's was blamed for the subsequent scalding. In 2008, here are the winners of the Stella Awards.

Kathleen Robertson from Austin (Texas) was awarded $80,000 when she broke her ankle inside a furniture store. She had tripped over a child who was running around inside the store and this child happened to be her own son.

Carl Truman from Los Angeles was awarded $74,000 plus medical expenses because his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. What was a hand doing under the wheel of a car? Carl was trying to steal his neighbor's hub-caps and hadn't noticed his neighbor was at the wheel, about to drive away.

Terrence Dickson from Bristol (Pennsylvania) won $500,000 from an insurance company for mental anguish. He had entered a house through a garage to burgle it and got stuck in the garage. The garage door that led out was automatic and had locked itself, so had the entry to the house from the garage. Terrence was stuck in the garage for eight days, surviving on a case of Pepsi and a bag of dry dog food. The house-owner' s insurance company was clearly responsible.
Jerry Williams from Little Rock (Arkansas) was awarded $14,500 plus medical expenses when he was bitten on his backside by his neighbor's beagle. The beagle was chained inside the neighbor's yard and the yard was fenced. However, Jerry had climbed over the fence into the yard and was shooting the beagle with a pellet gun.

Amber Carson from Lancaster (Pennsylvania) got $113,500 from a restaurant in Philadelphia. She slipped on a spilled soft drink and broke a bone. The soft drink had been spilt because Amber had argued with her boyfriend and had just thrown the bottle of soft drink at him.

Kara Walton from Claymont (Delaware) successfully sued a night-club for $12,000 and medical expenses. She fell from the bathroom window to the floor and lost two front teeth. She had climbed up to the bathroom window and was trying to escape through there in an attempt to avoid paying the night-club charges.

Mery Grazinski from Oklahoma City bought a "Winnebago motor home". After a football game, she was driving home. Setting the "motor home" on cruise control at 70 miles per hour, she left the driver's seat and went to the back to make herself a sandwich. The "motor home" went off the freeway, crashed and overturned. There was clear negligence, since the user's manual didn't specify one couldn't leave the driver's seat when setting the Winnebago on cruise control. Mery obtained damages of $1.75 million and a new "motor home".

 

 

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Created by Sushma Gupta On May 27, 2001
Contact: sushmajee@yahoo.com
Modified on 09/24/13