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Lawyers' Jokes-2

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Lawyers' Jokes-2

1. Joke of the Century

A lawyer purchased a box of very rare and expensive cigars, and then insured them against, among other things, fire.

Within a month, having smoked his entire stockpile of these great cigars and without yet having made even his first premium payment on the policy, the lawyer filed a claim against the insurance company. In his claim, the lawyer stated that the cigars were lost "in a series of small fires."

The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason, that the man had consumed the cigars in the normal fashion. The lawyer sued ----and WON.

Delivering the ruling, the judge agreed with the insurance company that the claim was frivolous. The judge stated nevertheless: that the lawyer held a policy from the company, which it had warranted that the cigars were insurable and also guaranteed that it would insure them against fire, without defining what is considered to be unacceptable fire. The company was obligated to pay the claim.

Rather than endure lengthy and costly appeal process, the insurance company accepted the ruling and paid $15,000 to the lawyer for the loss of the cigars lost in the "fire".

After the lawyer cashed the check, the insurance company had him arrested on 24 counts of ARSON. With his own insurance claim and testimony from the previous case being used against him, the lawyer was convicted of intentionally burning his insured property and was sentenced to 24 months in jail and a $24,000 fine.

2. A Bank Robbery

A couple of robbers entered a bank and started looting the people inside at gunpoint.
Two lawyers happened to be in the bank and were next to each other. One of them passes something to the other. The other lawyer without looking down asks, "What's this?"
Reply comes, "The thousand rupees I owe you."

Outside the bank, the lawyer who got the money is in the getaway car, and is approached by the lawyer who paid the debt. The lawyer extends his hand, takes half the money, pockets it and walks away.

The robber says to his fellow, "Smart man. We robbers have a lot to learn from lawyers".

3. Honest Lawyer

An investment counselor decided to go out on her own. She was shrewd and diligent, so business kept coming in, and pretty soon she realized that she needed an in-house counsel. She began to interview young lawyers.

"As I'm sure you can understand," she started off with one of the first applicants, "in a business like this, our personal integrity must be beyond question." She leaned forward. "Mr. Peterson, are you an honest lawyer?"

"Honest?" replied the job prospect. "Let me tell you something about my honesty, Why I'm so honest, that my father lent me $15,000 for my education, and I paid back every penny the minute I tried my very first case."

"Impressive. And what sort of case was that?"
The lawyer squirmed in his seat and admitted, "He sued me for the money."



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Created by Sushma Gupta On May 27, 2001
Modified on 09/24/13