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Indian Jokes-7

Short Jokes of Sardaar Jee

Prince Charles and a Sardaar Jee were having dinner.
Prince said, "Pass the wine you divine".
Sardaar thought, "How poetic, let me also use some poetic words."
Sardaar Jee said, "pass the custard you bastard".

A Sardaar at bar in New York.
Man on his right says "Johnny Walker single"
Man on his left says "Peter Scotch single"
Sardaar said - "Baljit Singh Married"

Boss : I am giving you job as a driver. Starting salary Rs.2000 /-, is it OK?
Sardaar Jee : You are great Sir! Starting salary is OK.. but? how much is Driving salary...?

Sardaar's theory : Moon is more important than Sun, because it gives light at night when light is needed and Sun gives light during the day when light is not needed!

Two Sardaar were driving a Car, one put on the indicator and asked the other one to check whether its working, he puts his head out and says - YES...NO...YES...NO...YES...NO...

Sardaar shouting on his girl friend - "You said we will do register marriage and you cheated me, I was waiting for you yesterday the whole day in the post office...."

A Sardaar is in a dissection class of a cockroach. He cuts its one leg, and says, "chal (walk)", it walks.
He cuts its 2nd and 3rd legs and said, "chal", it still walks.
He cuts all the legs and said, "chal...." Finally he wrote the conclusion......
"after all the legs of a cockroach are cut - it becomes deaf......"

A Tamilian call up a Sardaar Jee and asks in Tamil language - "Tamil therimaa?"
In Tamil it means "do you understand Tamil language?", but in Hindi it means "Is Tamil your mother")
Sardaar Jee got mad, he angrily replied.... "Panjaabee teraa Peoo." (In Panjaabee Peoo means father, so for Sardaar jee meant if Tamil is my mother then Panjaabee is your father)

Two Sardaar Jee were looking at an Egyptian mummy.
1st Sardaar : "Look so many bandages, Pakkaa lorry accident case."
2nd Sardaar : "Aaho, lorry number is also written...BC 1760."

A Sardaar on an interview for the position of a detective.
Interviewer : "Who killed Gandhi?"
Sardaar : Thank you sir for giving me the job, I will start investigating right now."

A Sardaar had studied only one essay 'FRIEND' for an exam, but in the exam the essay was to be written on 'FATHER' . he replaced friend with father in the essay and it read:

"I am a very fatherly person, I have lots of fathers, some of my fathers are male and some are female. My true father is my neighbor...."

Interviewer: "What is your qualification?"
Sardaar Jee : "Sir, I am a PhD."
Interviewer : "What do you mean by PhD?
Sardaar Jee : (smiling) Passed High school with Difficulty....."

In a "Kaun Banegaa Karodpati" show
Amitabh Bachchan : "In which state Cauvery River flows?"
Sardaar Jee : "Liquid state....."
Audience clapped.. Amitabh stunned, looked behind, All were Sardaar there...

Once a Sardaar Jee proposes to a woman. She says: "Yes, I can marry you if you bring me a pair of crocodile boots." So he sets off to Africa and disappears. Finally a search is being made for Sardaar Jee, they find him hunting crocodiles and watch him killing a huge one. He walks over the reptile, checks its legs and angrily exclaims, "This is 71st one and again barefoot?"

Wizard Sardaar Jee is sitting on a tree branch and sawing it.
A passerby warns him "Sardaar Jee, You're gonna fall down!"
"Hardly," says he and falls down.
Then he looks after the passer-by and mumbles "Must have been a wizard."

Once Punjab government announced Rs 50,000.00 to every family with 5 children in the house-hold. A Sardaar had 4 children so he tells his wife - "Meree girlfriend se meraa 1 bachchaa hai, mein usey le aataa hoon, total 5 ho jaayenge aur Hamein Govt 50,000/- de degee."

Sardaar Jee bachchaa lekar ghar aayaa aur apanee wife se poochhaa : "Jitender aa gayaa hai - Maninder, Surinder, Rajender aur Virender kahaan hain?

Wife bolee - "Jee, Jis jis ke the wo le gaye."

A Sardar sent a SMS to his wife --- "Darling, I will be reaching home in fifteen minutes. In case I don't, please read this SMS again."

Once one man asked a Sardaar Jee - "Sardaar Jee, What do you like most?"
Sardaar Jee replied - "I love to eat good food, and wear good clothes."
After a few days that man saw that Sardaar eating Indian berry (Ber) wearing an underwear.
In fact, Underwear does not come even under clothes and Ber is the cheapest fruit in India.

Sardaar Jee's Travels

1. Sardaar's Air Travel

Once one Sardaar Jee was going to Chandigarh from Pune by an Indian Airlines plane. He was allotted the middle seat of one of the 3-seats array in the center. But as soon as the Sardaar Jee got into the plane, he sat on the window side seat which was actually for an old lady. After some time the old lady came and requested the Sardaar Jee to leave the side seat. But the Sardaar Jee said - "I want to see the view from the window and shall not leave".

The old lady then complained to the air hostess. The air hostess came and requested the Sardaar Jee to leave that seat, but the Sardaar Jee was adamant and did not leave the seat. The air hostess went to the Assistant Captain and told him about it. He also came and requested Sardaar Jee to leave the seat but Sardaar jee would not leave it. Finally the Captain came. He whispered something in the ears of the Sardaar Jee, and the Sardaar Jee immediatly left the side seat and returned to his own allotted seat - the middle seat.

Astonished, the airhostess and the Assistant Captain asked the Captain afterwards what did he tell the Sardaar Jee. Captain said - "Nothing. I just told him that only the middle seats will go to Chandigarh. All others will go to Jalandhar."

2. Sardaar's Train Travel

Once one Sardaar Jee was traveling by a train. He entered the compartment, spread his bedding on the lower berth and lay down. After a while another man came, spread his bed on the upper berth and lay down there. Just to have a talk, Sardaar Jee asked the upper berth man - "Sir, Where are you going?" He replied - "Calcutta." Sardaar Jee said - "Kamaal hai jee Khudaa kaa, train to ek hee hai, par oopar vaalaa Bandaa kalkattaa jaa rahaa hai aur neeche vaalaa bandaa Amritsar jaa rahaa hai."

In fact Sardaar Jee had entered the wrong train. Sardaar Jee had to go to Amritsar but the train was going to Calcutta. Both cities are in opposite direction.

3. An Intelligent Sardaar Jee

100 Sardaar are killed in a train accident at Amritsar station. Only one Sardaar was left alive.

The correspondent rushes to him and asks the Sardaar Jee.
Correspondent: How did it happen?
Sardaar: Oh Jee puchchho mat. Sab kuch sahee thaa. sab log platform par khade gaadee kee wait kar rahe they ki achaanak announcement Huee ki Shataabdee Express 2 number ke platform par aa rahee hai. Jaise hee sab ne sunaa ki gaddee PLATFORM PAR aa rahee hai, sab log apanee jaan bachaane ke liye pataree par kood gaye. Aur tabhee gaddee pataree par aa gayee.

Correspondent : Thank god. Aap ne samajhdaaree dikhayee ki aap pataree par naheen koode."
Sardaar: "O naheen jee, main to suicide karane ke liye pataree par hi letaa thaa. Jaise hee announcement huee main to platform par chad gayaa.

4. Another Intelligent Sardaar Jee

A tall hefty Sardaar, new to the town, stepped into a bar to have drink...

Now the regular visitors there had a habit of picking on strangers. So when Sardaaar Jee had finished his drink, he found that his bike had gone from the parking lot outside. He went into the bar again, banged his fist on the table and shouted - ho has stolen my bike?" Nobody spoke anything.

Sardaar Jee said in anger - "All right, I will have another drink, and if my bike is not back during this time, I am going to do what I did in Patiaalaa, and I do not like to do that what I did in Patiaalaa." Some of the regulars shifted restlessly.

Now Sardaar Jee, true to his words, had another drink, walked outside and found that his bike was returned. Sardaar Jee rode on his bike and started to go....

The bartender wandered out of the bar and asked - "Before you go, Sir, tell me what happened in Patiaalaa?"
Sardaar Jee turned back and said - "I had to walk home..."



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Created by Sushma Gupta On May 27, 2001
Modified on 09/24/13