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Rajnikant is not only a Hindi movie actor, but is an Indian actor. Like Chuck Norris, Rajnikant also has a series of jokes devoted to him.... Read some of them here --

The Legend of Rajnikant

--Rajnikant never sells a movie. He gifts it to the nation.
--Rajnikant once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are today called giraffes.
--Rajnikant will attain separate statehood in 2013.
--Rajnikant never wet his bed as a child. The bed got wet itself in fear.
--Rajnikant has already been to Mars. That's why there are no signs of life there.
--Rajnikant doesn't breathe. Air hides in his lungs for protection.
--Rajnikant puts the laughter in manslaughter.
--Rajnikant can speak Braille.
--Rajnikant got small pox when he was a child. As a result, small pox has been now eradicated.
--Rajnikant goes to court and sentences the judge.

--Once Michael Jordan asked Rajnikant: I can spin a ball on my finger for over two hours. Can you?
   Rajnikant: Rascal, how do you think the earth spins?
--Rajnikant once ordered a plate of Idalee in McDonald and he got it.
--If Rajnikant was born 100 years earlier, British would have fought to get independence from India.
--When Rajnikant logs on to, facebook updates its status message.
--Rajnikant once killed 20 men just by saying "BANG".

--Rajnikant can divide by zero.
--Rajnikant has counted to infinity, twice.
--When Rajnikant gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.
--Rajnikant wears glasses to protect the Sun from his anger.
--Once dinosaurs borrowed money from Rajnikant and refused to pay back. That was the last time anyone saw dinosaurs.
--Rajnikant's email address..... .
--Had Rajnikant met J K Rowling, he would have killed both Harry and Voldemort in the first book itself.
--Rajnikant once kicked a horse in his chin. Its descendants are today called giraffes
--Rajnikant can talk about Fight Club
--Rajnikant doesn't breathe. Air hides in his lungs for protection.

--Rajnikant goes to court and sentences the judge.
--Rajnikant got smallpox when he was a kid. As a result small pox is now eradicated
--Rajnikant can lick his elbows. (nobody can lick one's elbow)
--When you say "no one is perfect", Rajnikant takes this as a personal insult
--Words like awesomeness, brilliance, legendary etc. were added to the dictionary in the year 1949. That was the year Rajnikant was born.
--The statement "nobody can cheat death", is a personal insult to Rajnikant. Rajnikant cheats and fools death everyday
--Rajnikant can give pain to Painkillers and headache to Crocin.
--Time and tide wait for Rajnikant.
--Rajnikant sneezed only once in his entire life, that's when the tsunami occurred in the Indian ocean.
--Rajnikant can answer a missed call.

--Rajnikant's brain works faster than Chacha Chaudhury's brain.
--Rajnikant doesn't take shower. He only takes blood baths.
--Rajnikant doesn't need a visa to travel abroad, he just jumps from the tallest building in Chennai and holds himself in the air while the Earth rotates.
--Rajnikant's every step creates a mini whirlwind. Hurricane Katrina was the result of his morning jogging.
--Archaeologists unearthed an old English dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined “victim" as the “one who has encountered Rajnikant.
--There is no such thing as global warming. Rajnikant was feeling cold, so he brought the Sun closer to the heat the Earth up.
--Rajnikant is a champion in the game "Hide n' seek", as no one can hide from Rajnikant.

--Rajnikant proves Newton wrong all the time. Every time he performs an action, he simply eliminates anything and everything that can provide the reaction.
--Aliens do indeed exist. They just know better not to visit a planet that Rajnikant is on.
--We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away from Rajnikant.
--If at first you don't succeed, you're not Rajnikant.
--Rajnikant does not style his hair. It lays perfectly in place out of sheer terror.
--Rajnikant is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
--The universe came into being when Rajnikant sneezed. And we call it the big bang!
--Rajnikant killed Spiderman using Baygon Anti Bug Spray.
--Its official now! The missing piece of Apple's logo is eaten by Rajnikant.

--Rajnikant doesn't turn the lights ON.. He turns the dark OFF.
--Rajnikant ran in a marathon from Delhi to Chennai. Earth started spinning North-South instead of East-West.
--The movie "300" was initially planned to be made with Rajnikant. It was originally named "1".
--Rajnikant has a 7th sense.
--Rajnikantdoes not install an anti-virus on his PC. All computer virus are looking for an Anti-Rajanikant software to save themselves from hands of Rajanikant.
--Wanted revised: Salman - Ek baar jo maine commitment kar di uske baad main sirf Rajnikant kee hee sunataa hoon.
--Rajnikant once leaned on a tower. From then onwards it is called Pisa tower.

--Rajnikant never writes queries to the Databases. Databases send their queries to Rajnikant.
--Once Rajanikant raced with time, time is still running..... ....
--Why did Obama come to India? To receive the payment of NASA's rocket he sold to Rajnikant for Divaalee.
--Rajnikant doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of his fear.
--Rajnikant can "Checkmate" in one move.
--One day Rajnikant kicked a stone in the beach and it is now called "Srilanka".
--Thousands of years ago Rajnikant came across a bear. It was so terrified that it fled North into the arctic. It was also so terrified that all of its decedents now have white hair.

--As a child when Rajnikant had dyslexia, he simply assembled the alphabets and that is how we have the alphabets in the order of A to Z now.
--Human blood type is usually 0+, A+ or AB.. Rajnikant's blood type is AK-47.
--Rajnikant once sneezed on computer since then computers are infected by Viruses.
--Myth Busted: For long the World has believed that the magnetic needle in a compass always points in North. The truth is it always points in the direction Rajnikant is looking.

--Only Rajnikant knows what came first - the chicken or the egg?
--Only Rajnikant can draw straight line using compass.
--Only Rajnikant can find a corner in a circle.
--Only Rajnikant can squeeze orange juice out of a banana.
--what is the color of Rajnikant's blood and sweat - UNKNOWN. He never bleeds or sweats

--Google gets answers for all its searches from Rajnikant.
--Galileo used lamp to study. Graham bell used candle to study. Shakespeare studied under street light. But, do you know about Rajnikant? How did he study? .....only with Agarbattee.
--Once Rajnikant forgot his toys in California.. and that is how Disney Land came into existence.
--Before Tom Cruise, Rajnikant was approached for the movie "Mission Impossible", but he refused it as he found The title insulting his personality.
--Hrithik Roshan tried to compete with Rajnikant in dance.. result.. he is on a wheel chair in Guzaarish film.
--There is no such thing as evolution, it's just a list of creatures that Rajnikant allowed to live.
--Rajnikant can run Windows 7 with 640KB of memory.
--The real tragedy secret. One day Rajnikant had some stomach problem.... That day today is called as Bhopal Gas Tragedy.

--Government pays Tax to Rajnikant for working in India. not vice versa.
--In olden times a boy went to Nepal and made mountains of snow. Today that boy is called Rajnikan and the mountains are known as the Himalayas.
--Do you have any idea why in Japan there are frequent earthquakes? Because Rajnikant lost his mobile in Japan in vibrate mode.
--While playing once Rajnikant said "statue" to a girl..  now its known as "Statue of Liberty".

--Rajnikant can produce fire by rubbing two ice cubes...
--Rajnikant runs until treadmill gets tired..
--In the back cover of "WORLD RECORD BOOKS" its written.. all records are held by Rajnikant.. listed names are second in place..
--Rajnikant added Facebook as his friend..
--Rajnikant can whistle in 5 different languages..
--If Rajnikant's PC hangs.. its time for next Windows release by Microsoft.

--Once Rajnikant was on hot seat in KBC (Kaun Banegaa Karorpati)... and computer needed lifeline to choose the questions....

--Once Rajnikant was on hot seat in KBC (Kaun Banegaa Karorpati)...
The final question he had to answer to win one million was: Which English word has one "g" and four "t's"?
He had of course used up all his help lines and as the timer ticked remorselessly he suddenly remembered a childhood incident in Chennai and came up with the answer:
"ORIGINALITY" (ORU G NAALU T) (For those who don't know Tamil, ORU G NAALU T means one G four T and sounds like the word " Originality". Oru means one and Naalu means four in Tamil)

Rajnikant Jokes

This is issued in public interest that from now onwards they should not crack jokes on Rajnikant. He has proved that he can get World Cup for India just by sitting in stadium..



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Created by Sushma Gupta On May 27, 2001
Modified on 10/31/13