Sushmajee
Vaalmeeki Raamaayan | Notes-General

Baal Kaand | Ayodhyaa Kaand | Aranya Kaand | Kishkindhaa Kaand | Sundar Kaand | Yuddh Kaand | Uttar Kaand
 

Notes-General

Home | V-Raamaayan

3-14-Bill Gates' Raamaayan

Back to Notes


3-14-Bill Gates' Raamaayan

When Bill Gates was in India, he had a chance to listen to Raamaayan. After returning to US he wrote it in his Personal Diary which has been recently found (courtesy PTI). These are excerpts from his Diary : Raamaayan by Bill Gates...

LAN, LAN ago, in the SYSTEM of I/O-dhyaa, there ruled a PROCESSOR named DOS-rat. Once he EXECUTED a great sacrifice PROGRAM after which his queens gave an OUTPUT of four SUNs - RAM, LSIman, BUG-rat and SED-rughan.

RAM the eldest was a MICROCHIP with excellent MEMORY. His brothers, however, were only PERIPHERAL ICs. Once when RAM was only 16MB, he married princess C-taa.

12 years passed and DOS-rat decided to INSTALL RAM as his successor. However, Queen CIE/CAE (Kayekayee), who was once offered a boon by DOS-rat for a lifesaving HELP COMMAND, took this opportunity at the instigation of her BIOSed maid and insisted that her son Bug-rat be INSTALLED and that RAM be CUT-N-PASTED to the forest for 14 years. At this cruel and unexpected demand, a SURGE passed through DOS-rat and he CRASHED like unstable version of AI MSN does in Intel.

RAM agreed to LOG INTO forest and C-taa insisted to LOGIN with him. LSI-man also resolved on LOGGING IN with his brother. The forest was the dwelling of SPARCnakhaa, the TRAN-SISTOR of RAW-van, PROCESSOR of LAN-kaa. Attracted by RAM, she proposed that he should marry her. RAM, politely declined, perceiving C-taa to be his SOURCE CODE. She hastened to kill her but LSI-man cut her important PERIPHERALS. Weeping, SPARC-nakha fled to LAN-ka, where RAW-van, moved by TRAN-SISTOR's plight, approached his uncle MAR-eech. MAR-eech RE-PROGRAMED himself to form a golden stag and drew RAM deep into the forest. Finally, RAM shot the deer, which, with his last breath, cried out for LSI-man in voice of RAM's SOUND CARD. Fooled by this VIRTUAL RAM SOUND, C-taa urged LSI-man to rush to his brother's aid. Catching the opportunity, RAW-van DELINKED C-taa from her LIBRARY and changed her ROOT DIRECTORY to LAN-ka.

------------ --------- ---INTERVAL- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---

RAM and LSI-man started SEARCHING for the missing C-taa all over the forest. They made friendship with the forest SYSTEM ADMINISTRATOR Akshat sorry... SU-greev and his powerful co-processor Ha-NEUMAN. who agreed to help RAM. SU-greev ordered his PROGRAMMERS to use all possible powerful SEARCH techniques learnt in CS130 to FIND the missing C-taa. His PROGRAMMERS SEARCHED all around the INTER-NET-connected forests. Many tried to EXCITE the birds and animals not to forget the WEBCRAWLERS (Insects) and tried to INFOSEEK something about C-taa. Some of them even shouted YAA-HOO but they all ended up with NOT FOUND MESSAGES. Google, Lycos nothing was left untouched. The only thing they forgot was to mail iitcse01 and get PTI's help. Ha-NEUMAN then devised a RISCy TECHNOLOGY and used it to cross the sea at an astonishing CLOCK SPEED. Soon Ha-NEUMAN DOWNLOADED himself into LAN-ka. Ha-NEUMAN found C-taa under a brown-green (as Brahmaa will call it) TREE STRUCTURE. Ha-NEUMAN used the LOGIN ID (Ram's ring) to identify himself to C-taa. After DECRYPTING THE KEY, C-taa asked him to send STATUS_OK MESSAGE to RAM.

Meanwhile all Raakshas, BUGS around C-taa captured Ha-NEUMAN to DELETE him using everything including CTRL-ALT-DELETE, but Ha-NEUMAN spread chaos by spreading VIRUS Fire in the whole LAN-kaa. Ha-NEUMAN pressed ESCAPE from LAN-kaand and conveyed all the STATUS MESSAGES to RAM and SU-greev. RAW-wan decided to take RAM head-on.

One of the RAW-wan's SUN almost DELETED LSI-man with a Brahmaa-astra, but Ha-NEUMAN resorted to some ACTIVE-Xgradients and REFORMATTED LSI-man. RAM used the SOURCE CODE secrets of RAW-wan and wiped out RAW-wan's presence on Earth. Later, RAM got INSTALLED in I/O-dhya and spread his USER FRIENDLY PROGRAMS to all USERS and everyone lived happily ever after, playing and enjoying AOE.

 

 

Home | V-Raamaayan

 

Back to Notes


Created by Sushma Gupta on 5/27/03
Contact:  sushmajee@yahoo.com
Updated on 04/28/13