Miscellanea | Work Related Jokes
|Work Related Jokes-7|
Work Related Jokes-7
1. Chartered Accountant's Answers
Prove : 2 / 10 = 2
Art student : Out of syllabus
Chartered Accountant: it is very easy
CAs never ask?.. Answer kyaa hai?
(What is the answer)
2. An Important Medical Alert...
The Centre for Disease Control (CDC) has issued a medical alert about a highly contagious, potentially dangerous virus that is transmitted orally, by hand, and even electronically. This virus is called Weary Overload Recreational Killer (WORK).
If you receive WORK from your boss, any of your colleagues, or anyone else via any means whatsoever - DO NOT TOUCH IT. This virus will wipe out your private life completely.
If you should come into contact with WORK you should immediately leave the premises. Take two good friends to the nearest grocery store and purchase one or both of the antidotes - Work Isolating Neutralizer Extract (WINE) and Bothersome Employer Elimination Rebooter (BEER).
Take the antidote repeatedly until WORK has been completely eliminated from your system. You should immediately forward this medical alert to five friends. If you do not have five friends, you have already been infected and WORK is controlling your life. Trusting you will do the right thing.
P.S. If you have developed immunity from WINE and BEER, then as a last resort, take
a course of Viral Antidote for Contagious Anxiety - Taxing Incessant Overwork Neurosis
(VACATION) which is for 2 weeks.
3. Actual Letters Received by Welfare Department)
These are actual statements taken from cards, letters and forms received by public assistance agencies.
1. I am forwarding my marriage certificate and 6 children. I had 7 but one
died which was baptized on a sheet of paper.
4. Some Leave Applications
"As I am not suffering well, I may be permitted to sanction you casual leave".
Infosys, Bangalore : Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife, please sanction me one-week leave.
Oracle, Bangalore : To perform the Mundan ceremony (fist head shaving) of his 10 year old son: "..as I want to shave my son's head, please leave me for two days."
CDAC. : Leave-letter for his daughter's wedding : "..as I am marrying my daughter, please grant a week's leave.."
HAL Administration Dept : "As my mother-in-law has expired and I am only one responsible for it, please grant me 10 days leave."
"Since I've to go to the cremation ground at 10 O'clock and I may not return, please grant me half day casual leave."
A leave letter : "I am suffering from fever, please declare one-day holiday."
A leave letter to the headmaster : "As I am studying in this school I am suffering from headache. I request you to leave me today."
Another leave letter written to the headmaster : "As my headache is paining, please grant me leave for the day."
Covering note : "I am enclosed herewith..."
Another one: *Dear Sir: with reference to the above, please refer to my below..."
Another leave letter : "My wife is suffering from sickness and as I am her only husband at home I may be granted leave."
Letter writing : "I am well here and hope you are also in the same well.
A job application : "This has reference to your advertisement calling for
a 'Typist and an Accountant - Male or Female'; ... As I am both (!!) for the
past several years and I can handle both with good experience, I am applying for
5. Stand in Line
A crowded United flight was cancelled. A single agent was rebooking a long line of inconvenienced travelers. Suddenly an angry man pushed his way to the desk, slapped his ticket down on the counter and said, "I HAVE to be on the flight & it has to be FIRST CLASS."
The agent, a nice little girl replied, "I'm sorry Sir, I'll be happy to help you but I've got to help these folks first, then I'm sure, I'll be able to work something out for you."
The passenger was unimpressed. He asked loudly, so that the passengers behind him could hear, "Do you have any idea who I am?"
Without hesitating, the gate agent smiled and grabbed her public address microphone. "May I have your attention please?" she began, her voice bellowing through out the terminal, "We have a passenger here at gate number 3, WHO DOES NOT KNOW WHO HE IS. If anyone of you can help him to identify himself, please come to the gate, thank you."
With the folks in line laughing hysterically, the man glared at the United agent, gritted
his teeth and shouted, "F**K YOU."
6. Efficient Insurance Agents
There were three insurance agents talking at a tea table boasting for their companies'
7. How Does a Professional Wish Success to Others?
A Plumber : may you tap your talents and explore every faucet of yours !!!!
A Principal - abide by your principles and you've got it all !
A Carpenter- may you nail it at the first attempt
A Sweets Maker (Halwaaee) : the Sweet Success be yours !
An Accountant: May you get credit for your hard work!
An Astronaut: Reach for the stars!
A Philosopher: May your Karma run over your Dogma!
An Electrician. .May you always be in the circuit
A Chartered Accountant - may your Balance Sheet always tally with name and fame !
An Editor : May you always make the Headlines Today and enjoy the Times Now...
A Painter : May your life be filled with all colors.
A Mountaineer : May you scale great heights...
A Dentist....may you always drill gold..
Created by Sushma Gupta On May 27, 2001
Modified on 09/25/13