Miscellanea | Marital Jokes
1. The Geography of a Woman
Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa - half discovered, half wild, fertile and naturally beautiful!
Between 23 and 30, a woman is like Europe - well-developed and open to trade, especially for something of real value.
Between 31 and 35, a woman is like Spain - very hot, relaxed, and convinced of her own beauty.
Between 36 and 40, a woman is like Greece - gently aging, but still a warm and desirable place to visit.
Between 41 and 50, a woman is like Great Britain - with a glorious and all-conquering past.
Between 51 and 60, a woman is like Israel - has been through war, doesn't make the same mistakes twice, and takes care of business.
Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Canada - cool, self-preserving, but open to meeting new people.
After 70, she becomes Tibet - wildly beautiful, with a mysterious past and the
wisdom of the ages....
The Geography of a Man
Between 1 and 80, a man is like Iran - ruled by nuts.
2. Three Wishes
A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods.
The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed
to mention that there was a condition to your wishes. Whatever you wish for,
your husband will get times ten!"
For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world.
For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world.
The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, "I'd like a mild heart attack."
Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them.
Attention female readers: This is the end of the joke for you. Stop here and continue feeling good.
Male readers: Please scroll down.
The man had a heart attack ten times milder than his wife.
3. Poor Husbands
Position of a Husband Is just like a Split AC
"Husband is one who is the head of the family,
A man in Hell asked Devil: "Can I make a call to my Wife?"
Husband: "Do you know the meaning of WIFE?
Wife: "I wish I was a newspaper, So I'd be in your hands all day."
Doctor: "Your husband needs rest and peace. Here are some sleeping Pills."
Wife: "I had to marry you to find out how stupid you are.."
Wife: "What will you give me if I climb the great Mount Everest?"
4. Family Problems...
Two men, one American and an Indian were sitting in a bar and discussing about their family problems. The Indian man said to the American man, "We have a very big problem in India, that we can't marry the one whom we love, You know my parents are forcing me to get married to this so called homely girl whom I haven't even met once'; she is from a village where I come from. We call this arranged marriage. I don't want to marry a woman whom I haven't seen even... I told them that openly and now I have a hell lot of family problems."
The American smiled and said, "Do you call it a family problem? Listen to my problem - in America we can marry the one whom we love...... so I married a widow whom I deeply loved and dated for 3 years. She had a beautiful daughter too. After a couple of years, my father fell in love with my step-daughter and married her, so my father became my son-in-law and I became my father's father-in-law.
Now, legally my daughter is my mother and my wife is my grandmother. More problems occurred when I had a son. My son is my father's brother and so he is my uncle.
Situation turned worse when my father also had a son. Now my father's son, my brother, is my grandson. Ultimately, I have become my own grandfather and I am my own grandson."
AND YOU SAY YOU HAVE FAMILY PROBLEMS IN INDIA.... .
5. Distinction Between Complete and Finished
Here's a distinction between Complete and Finished
I beg to differ because there is a difference between Complete and Finished.
And when the right one catches you with the wrong one, you are "Completely finished"!!!
Created by Sushma Gupta On May 27, 2001
Modified on 09/24/13