Interviewer: "What is skeleton?"
Santa: "Skeleton is a person who started dieting but forgot to stop it..!!!"
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Teacher: "Translate this sentence into English - Bazaar mein goliyaan chal rahi hain."
Santa: "The tablets are walking in the market."
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Santa's girl friend: "Meree maa aapko bahut pasand kartee hai."
Santa, after a deep thought: "Kuchh bhi ho jaaye, shaadi to main tujhse hi karoongaa!"
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Santa: "Why has the Government fixed voting age 18 yrs and marriage age 21 yrs?"
Banta: "Government ko pataa hai ki desh sambhaalnaa aasaan hai, lekin beewee ko naheen."
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Santa badaa dukhee thaa, kisee ne poochhaa itnee tension me kyon ho, Bhaee?
Santa: "Ek dost ko 3 lac Rupaye plastic surgery ke liye diye the, ab use pehchaan naheen paa rahaa."
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Postman: "I have to come 5 miles to deliver you this packet."
Santa: "Why did you come so far. Instead you could have posted it."
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Driver: "Sir Ji, petrol khatam ho gayaa, gaadee aage naheen jaa sakatee."
Banta: "Chalo to Phir, waapis le chalo."
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Santa: "Wo dekh teree beevee ko saanp kaat rahaa hai."
Banta: "Are tension mat le, Zahar bharavaane aayaa hogaa..."
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This guy drives from Mumbai to Pune and decides not to take the new expressway as he wants to see the scenery. The inevitable happens and when he reaches the Ghats, his car breaks down - he's stranded miles from nowhere. Having no choice he starts walking on the side of the road, hoping to get a lift to the nearest human habitation.

It's dark and raining and pretty soon he's wet and shivering. The night rolls on and no car goes by, the monsoon rains are so strong he can hardly see a few feet ahead of him. Suddenly he sees a car coming towards him.

It slows and then stops next to him - without thinking the guy opens the car's door and jumps in. Seated in the back, he leans forward to thank the person who had saved him when he realizes that there is nobody behind the wheel.

Even though there's no one in the front seat and no sound of any engine, the car starts moving slowly. The guy looks at the road ahead and sees a curve coming (remember, this is in the hills and there is a steep, steep drop beyond the curve). Scared almost to death he starts to pray, begging the Lord for his life. He hasn't come out of shock, when just before he hits the curve, a hand appears through the window and moves the wheel!

The car makes the curve safely and continues on the road to the next bend. The guy, now paralyzed in terror, watches how the hand appears every time they are before a curve and moves the steering wheel just enough to get the car around each bend.

Finally, the guy sees lights ahead.

Gathering his courage he wrenches open the door of the silent, slowly moving car, scrambles out and runs as hard as he can towards the lights. It's a small town. Wet and in shock goes to a roadside Dhaabaa, and asks for a drink. They find some hooch and give him a shot, he starts telling whoever is in the Dhaabaa about the horrible experience he's just been through. A silence envelops everybody when they realize the guy isn't drunk, and is really frightened he's crying and shaking. So they give him more hooch and talk about what they should do, whether to call the Cops or find a priest, or what.

But just then two guys (Santa and Banta) walk into the Dhaabaa, and one says to the other "Look, Banta that's the jerk that got in the car when we were pushing it."