Miscellanea | General Jokes
1. Blondes Are Not So Foolish
A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the Loan officer. She says that she's going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Mercedes Benz SL 500. The car is parked on the street in front of the bank, she has the title and everything checks out. The bank agrees to accept the car collateral for the loan.
The bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the blond for using a $110,000 Benz as collateral against a $5,000 loan. An employee of the bank then proceeds to drive the Benz into the bank's underground garage and parks it there. Two weeks later, the blonde returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41.
The loan officer says, "Miss, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?"
The blonde replies, "Where else in New York City can
I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when
2. Notorious Blonde
One winter morning a husband and wife in Sweden were listening to the radio during breakfast. They heard the announcer Say, "We are going to have 8 to 10 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even-numbered side of the street, so the Snowplows can get through." So the good wife went out and moved her car. [There was "No Parking" sign in the snow]
A week later while they are eating breakfast again, that the radio announcer said, "We are expecting 10 to 12 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the odd-numbered side of the street, so the Snowplows can get through." The good wife went out and moved her car again.
The next week they are again having breakfast, when the radio announcer says,
"We are expecting 12 to 14 inches of snow today. You must park...."
With the love and understanding in his voice that all men who are married to
blondes exhibit, the husband replied, "Why don't you just leave it in the
garage this time."
3. Blonde Interrogation
A policeman was interrogating 3 blondes who were training to become detectives. To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows them a picture, then hides it. "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"
The first blonde answers, "That's easy, we'll catch him fast because
he only has one eye!"
Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5
seconds at the second blonde and asks her, "This is your suspect, how would
you recognize him?"
Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to the third blonde
and in a very testy voice asks, "This is your suspect, how would you
recognize him?" He quickly adds, "Think hard before giving me a stupid
"Well, that's an interesting answer. Wait here for a few minutes while I
check his file and I'll get back to you on that."
"Wow! I can't believe it. It's TRUE! The suspect does in fact wear contact
lenses. Good work! How were you able to make such an astute observation?"
4. Driver's License
Once a blond woman was driving on a highway, that she was stopped by a female
The woman dug and dug into her purse but could not find the License, so
she asked the Police Officer = "May I ask what does that driver's license
The woman driver again dug into her purse and took out a small square
mirror, looked in it, and gave it to the Police Officer. Police Officer
looked into the mirror, and gave it back to the woman driver and said -
"Sorry I did not know that you are also a Police Officer." and
gave it back to the woman driver.
5. I have Windows
A Blonde goes to a store to buy curtains.
The salesman then asks what size curtains she needs.
The surprised salesman replies - "But Miss, computers do not need
6. Blonde Strikes Again
A blonde went to a flight school insisting that she wanted to learn to fly.
As all the planes were in use, the owner agreed to instruct her by radio on
how to pilot the solo helicopter. He showed her the basics, and sent her on
A few minutes later, he watched in horror as she crashed about half a mile
away. He ran over and pulled her out from the wreckage. When he asked what
happened, she said, "Everything was going fine, but as I got higher,
I was starting to get gold. I only remember turning off the big fan."
7. Intelligent Blondes
Three blondes were all applying for the last available position on the Texas Highway Patrol. The detective conducting the interview looked at the three of them and said, "So you all want to be cops, huh?"
The blondes all nodded. The detective got up, opened a file drawer, and
pulled out a folder and pulled out a picture.
So he stuck the photo in the face of the first blonde and withdrew it after about two seconds.
The blonde immediately said, "Yes, I did. He has only one eye!"
The detective then turned to the second blonde, stuck the photo in her
face for two seconds, pulled it back, and said, "What about you? Notice
anything unusual or outstanding about this man?"
The detective put his head in his hands and exclaimed, "Didn't you hear what I just told the other lady? This is a profile photo of the man's face! Of course you can only see one ear! You're excused too!"
Now the detective turned his attention to the third and the last blond
and said, "This is probably a waste of time, but...." He flashed the photo
in her face for a couple of seconds and withdrew it, saying, "All right, did
you notice anything distinguishing or unusual about this man?"
The detective frowned, took another look at the picture, and began looking at
some of the papers in the folder.
The blonde rolled her eyes and said, "Well Sir, With only one eye and one ear, he certainly can't wear glasses."
Created by Sushma Gupta On May 27, 2001
Modified on 09/25/13