The difference between in-laws and outlaws? Outlaws are wanted.

Alcohol is a perfect solvent: It dissolves marriages, families and careers.

A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

Archaeologist: Someone whose career lies in ruins.

An archaeologist is the best husband any woman can have: The older she gets, the more interested he is in her.

There are two kinds of people who don't say much: those who are quiet and those who talk a lot.

They say that alcohol kills slowly. So what? Who's in a hurry?

My girlfriend asked me, "Do You believe in love at first sight"? I said, "At the first sight of what"?

Alcohol and calculus don't mix. Never drink and derive.

One nice thing about egotists: They don't talk about other people.

There was a man who said, "I never knew what happiness was until I got married...and then it was too late.

Before marriage, a man 'yearns' for the woman he loves. After marriage, the 'Y' becomes silent.

(2) GLOBALIZATION

This is a real perspective on the world we live in.......the definition of globalization.

Question : What is the height of globalization?
Answer : Princess Diana's death

Question : How come?
Answer : An English princess with an Egyptian boyfriend crashes in a French tunnel, driving a German car with a Dutch engine, driven by a Belgian who was high on Scottish whiskey, followed closely by Italian Paparazzi, on a Japanese motorcycles, treated by an American doctor, using Brazilian medicines! And this is sent to you by an American computer, using Bill Gates' technology which he got from the Japanese. And you are probably reading this on one of the IBM clones that use Philippine-made chips, and Korean made monitors, assembled by Bangladeshi workers in a Singapore plant, transported by lorries driven by Indians, hijacked by Indonesians and finally sold to you by the Chinese! That's Globalization!!!