Sign over a Gynecologist' s Office:
"Dr. Jones, at your cervix."

In a Podiatrist's office:
"Time wounds all heels."

On a Septic Tank Truck:
Yesterday's Meals on Wheels

Sign on the back of yet another Septic Tank Truck:
"Caution - This Truck is full of Political Promises"

On a Plumber's truck:
"We repair what your husband fixed."

On another Plumber's truck:
"Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber."

On a Church's Bill board:
"7 days without God makes one weak."

At a Tire Store
"Invite us to your next blowout."

On an Electrician' s truck:
"Let us remove your shorts."

In a Non-smoking Area:
"If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."

On a Maternity Room door:
"Push. Push. Push."

At an Optometrist' s Office:
"If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."

On a Taxidermist' s window:
"We really know our stuff."

On a Fence:
"Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive!"

At a Car Dealership:
"The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment."

Outside a Car Exhaust Store:
"No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."

In a Vets waiting room:
"Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"

In a Restaurant window:
"Don't stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up."

In the front yard of a Funeral Home:
"Drive carefully. We'll wait."

And don't forget the sign at a RADIATOR SHOP:
"Best place in town to take a leak."

2. Some More Signs

In a Bangkok Temple :
"It is forbidden to enter a woman, even a foreigner if dressed as a man

In a Cocktail lounge, Norway :
Ladies are requested not ot have children in the Bar

In a Doctor's office, Rome :
Specialist in women and other diseases

In a Dry Cleaners Shop, Bangkok :
Drop your trousers here for the best results

In a Nairobi Restaurant :
Customers who find our waitresses rude ought to see the manager

On the Main Road to Mombassa, Leaving Nairobi :
TAKE NOTICE: When this sign is under water, this road is impassable

On a Poster at Kencom :
Are you an adult that cannot read? If so we can help

In a City Restaurant :
Open seven days a week and weekends

In a Cemetery :
Persons are prohibited from picking flowers from any but their own graves

Tokyo Hotel's rules and regulations :
Guests are requested not to smoke or do other disgusting behaviors in bed

On the Menu of a Swiss Restaurant :
Our wives leave you nothing to hope for

In a Tokyo Bar :
Special cocktails for ladies with nuts

In a Hotel in Yugoslavia :
The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid

In a Hotel in Japan :
You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid

In the Lobby of a Moscow Hotel Across From a Russian Orthodox Monastery :
You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists and writers are buried daily except Thursdays

A Sign Posted in Germany's Black Forest :
It is strictly forbidden on our black forest camping site that people of different sex, live together in one tent unless they are married with each other for this purpose

In a Hotel in Zurich :
Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the Lobby be used for this purpose

An Advertisement for Donkey Rides, Thailand :
Would you like to ride on your own ass?

At an Airline Ticket Office, Copenhagen :
We take your bags and send them in all directions