1. Color For Happiness

Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, 'Why is the bride dressed in white?''
The mother replied - "Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life."
The child thought about this for a moment then said - "So why is the groom wearing black?"

(2)

A little girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was running as fast as she could, trying not to be late for Bible class.
As she ran she prayed - "Dear Lord, please don't let me be late! Dear Lord, please don't let me be late."
While she was running and praying, she tripped on a curb and fell, getting her clothes dirty and tearing her dress.
She got up, brushed herself off, and started running again.
As she ran she once again she began to pray - "Dear Lord, please don't let me be late...But please don't shove me either."

(3) On Ten Commandments

Three boys are in the school yard bragging about their fathers.
The first boy says - "My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, they give him $50."
The second boy says - "That's nothing. My Dad scribbles a few words on piece of paper, he calls it a song, they give him $100."
The third boy says - "I got you both beat. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a sermon, and it takes eight people to collect all the money."

A Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary took Jesus with them to Jerusalem. .?"
A small child replied - "Because they couldn't get a baby-sitter."

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds.
After explaining the commandment to 'Honor thy father and thy mother", she asked - "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"
Without missing a beat, one little boy answered - "Thou shall not kill..."

At Sunday School they were teaching how God had created everything, including human beings.
Little Johnny seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam's ribs.
Later in the week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill, she said - "Johnny, what is the matter?"
Little Johnny responded - "I have a pain in my side. I think I'm going to have a wife."

(4) Who Knows the History of the USA

It was the first day of a school in USA and a new Indian student named Chandrasekhar Subramanian entered the fourth grade. The teacher said - "Let's begin by reviewing some American History. Who said 'Give me Liberty or give me death'?"

She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Chandrasekhar, who had his hand up - "Patrick Henry, 1775."
She said  "Very good. Who said 'Government of the People, by the People, for the People, shall not perish from the Earth?"

Again, no response except from Chandrasekhar - "Abraham Lincoln, 1863." said Chandrasekhar.
The teacher snapped at the class - "Class, you should be ashamed. Chandrasekhar, who is new to our country, knows more about its history than you do."

She heard a loud whisper - "Fuck the Indians."
"'Who said that?" she demanded. Chandrasekhar put his hand up - "General Custer, 1862."
At that point, a student in the back said - "I'm gonna puke."
The teacher glares around and asks - "All right, Now, who said that?"
Again, Chandrasekhar says - "George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991."
Now furious, another student yells - "Oh yeah? Suck this."
Chandrasekhar jumps out of his chair waving his hand and shouts to the teacher - "Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky, 1997."

Now with almost mob hysteria someone said - "You little shit. If you say anything else, I'll kill you."
Chandrasekhar frantically yells at the top of his voice - "Michael Jackson to the child witnesses testifying against him -2004."
The teacher fainted.. And as the class gathered around the teacher on the floor, someone said - "Oh shit, we're screwed."
And Chandrasekhar whispered quietly - "the Republicans, November 4th, 2008".