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Marital Jokes-2

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Marital Jokes-2

1. Italian Girl

Once a woman had to go to Italy to attend a 2-week company training session. Her husband drove her to the airport and wishes her to have a good trip. The wife answered -  "Thank you honey, what would you like me to bring for you?" The husband laughed and said - "An Italian girl." The woman kept quiet and left.

Two weeks later he picked her up in the airport and asked - "So, Honey, how was your trip?" "Oh, very fine, very good, thank you." "And, where is my present?" "Which present?" She asked. "The one I asked for - an Italian girl?"

"Oh, that?" she said "Well, I have brought something for you, but you have to wait for nine months to see if it is a girl."

2. I'm A Barbie Girl, In A Barbie World ...

One day a father got out of work and on his way home he suddenly remembers that it's his daughter's birthday. He pulled over to a Toy Shop and asked the sales person, "How much for one of those Barbies in the display window?"

The salesperson answered - "Which one do you mean, Sir? We have: Work Out Barbie for $19.95, Shopping Barbie for $19.95, Beach Barbie for $19.95, Disco Barbie for $19.95, Ballerina Barbie for $19.95, Astronaut Barbie for $19.95, Skater Barbie for $19.95, and Divorced Barbie for $265.95."

The amazed father asked: "It's how much? Why is the Divorced Barbie $265.95 and the others only $19.95?"

The annoyed salesperson rolls her eyes, sighs, and answers: "Sir..., Divorced Barbie comes with: Ken's Car, Ken's House, Ken's Boat, Ken's Furniture, Ken's Computer, and one of Ken's Friends...

3. Anniversary Mistake...

Ed was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary and his wife was really angry.

She told him: "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in less then 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE!"

The next morning Ed got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, and brought the box back in the house.

She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

Ed has been missing since Friday.

6. Why Dogs are Better Than Wives?


1. The later you come home the more excited your dogs are to see you.
2. Dogs will forgive you for playing with other dogs.
3. If a dog is gorgeous, other dogs don't hate it.
4. Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.
5. Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor.
6. A dog's parents never visit.
7. Dogs do not hate their bodies.
8. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.
9. Dogs like to do their snooping outside rather than in your wallet or desk.
10. Dogs seldom outlive you.
11. Dogs can't talk.
12. You never have to wait for a dog; they're ready to go 24 hours a day.
13. Dogs find you amusing when you are drunk.
14. Dogs like to go hunting and fishing.
15. Another man will seldom steal your dog.
16. A dog will not wake you up at night to ask, "If I died, would you get another dog?"
17. If a dog has more than required babies, you can always put an ad in the paper and give them away.
18. A dog will let you put a studded collar and a leash on it without calling you a pervert.
19. A dog won't hold out on you to get a new car.
20. If a dog smells another dog on you, they don't get mad. They just think it's interesting.
21. On a car trip, your dog never insists on running the heater.
22. Dogs don't let magazine articles guide their lives.
23. When your dog gets old, you can have it put to sleep.
24. Dogs like to ride in the back of a pickup truck.
25. Dogs are not allowed in Macy's, Bloomingdales or Neiman-Marcus.

And, last but not the least:
26. If a dog leaves, it won't take half of your stuff.



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Created by Sushma Gupta On May 27, 2001
Modified on 09/24/13