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International Jokes-16

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International Jokes-16

1. Modern Economics

Amazing logic...  This is a crazy world!
Interesting article written by an Indian Economist

Japanese save a lot. They do not spend much. Also, Japan exports far more than it imports. Has an annual trade surplus of over 100 billions.
Yet Japanese economy is considered weak, even collapsing.

Americans spend, and save little. Also US imports more than it exports.
Has an annual trade deficit of over $400 billion.
Yet, the American economy is considered strong and trusted to get stronger.

But where from do Americans get money to spend? They borrow from Japan, China and even India.
Virtually others save for the US to spend. Global savings are mostly invested in US, in dollars.

India itself keeps its foreign currency assets of over $50 billions in US securities. China has sunk over $160 billion in US securities.
Japan's stakes in US securities is in trillions.

The Result:
The US has taken over $5 trillion from the world. So, as the world saves for the US - It is the Americans who spend freely. Today, to keep the US consumption going, that is for the US economy to work, other countries have to remit $180 billion every quarter, which is $2 billion a day, to the US!

A Chinese economist asked a neat question. Who has invested more, US in China, or China in US? The US has invested in China less than half of what China has invested in US.

The same is the case with India. We have invested in US over $50 billion.
But the US has invested less than $20 billion in India.

Why the world is after US?
The secret lies in the American spending, that they hardly save.
In fact they use their credit cards to spend their future income.
That the US spends is what makes it attractive to export to the US.
So US imports more than what it exports year after year.

The result:
The world is dependent on US consumption for its growth. By its deepening culture of consumption, the US has habituated the world to feed on US consumption. But as the US needs money to finance its consumption, the world provides the money.

It's like a shopkeeper providing the money to a customer so that the customer keeps buying from the shop. If the customer will not buy, the shop won't have business, unless the shopkeeper funds him. The US is like the lucky customer. And the world is like the helpless shopkeeper financier.

Who is America's biggest shopkeeper financier? Japan of course.
Yet it's Japan which is regarded as weak.
Modern economists complain that Japanese do not spend, so they do not grow.
To force the Japanese to spend, the Japanese government exerted itself, reduced the savings rates, even charged the savers. Even then the Japanese did not spend (habits don't change, even with taxes, do they?).
Their traditional postal savings alone is over $1.2 trillions, about three times the
Indian GDP.
Thus, savings, far from being the strength of Japan, have become its pain.

Hence, what is the lesson?
That is,
A nation cannot grow unless the people spend, not save. Not just spend, but borrow and spend.
Dr. Jagdish Bhagwati, the famous Indian-born economist in the US, told Manmohan Singh that Indians wastefully save. Ask them to spend, on imported cars and, seriously, even on cosmetics! This will put India on a growth curve. This is one of the reason for MNC's coming down to India, seeing the consumer spending.

"Saving is sin, and spending is virtue."

But before you follow this Neo Economics, get some fools to save so that you can borrow from them and spend !!!

2. Fixing a Fence

Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the No 10 Downing Street. One is an English worker, another is a Scottish worker, and the third one is an Indian worker. All three go with a No 10 official to examine the fence.

The English contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil. "Well," he says, "I figure the job will run to about 500: 200 for materials, 200 for my crew and 100 profit for me."

The Scottish contractor also does some measuring, figuring, then says, "I can do this job for 600: 250 for materials, 250 for my crew and 100 profit for me."

The Indian contractor doesn't measure or figure, but leans over to the No 10 official and whispers, "1500." The official, incredulous, says, "You didn't even measure like the other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?"
The Indian contractor whispers back, "500 for me, 500 for you, and we hire the English contractor to fix the fence." "Done!" replies the government official.
And the contract goes to the Indian contractor.

3. A Legend Passes Away....

Please join me in remembering a great icon. Veteran Pillsbury spokesman, The Pillsbury Doughboy, died yesterday of a severe yeast infection and complications from repeated pokes to the belly. He was 71.

Doughboy was buried in a slightly greased coffin.
Dozens of celebrities turned out, including Mrs. Butterworth, The California Raisins, Hungry Jack, Betty Crocker, The Hostess Twinkies, Captain Crunch, and many others.

The graveside was piled high with flours as longtime friend Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy, describing the Doughboy as a man who "never knew how much he was kneaded." Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with many turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times, still, as a crusty old man, he was considered a roll model for millions.

Toward the end it was thought he'd rise once again, but he was no tart.
Doughboy is survived by his second wife, Play Dough. They have three children, John Dough, Jane Dough and Dosey Dough, and they have one in the oven. he is survived by his father, Pop Tart.
The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.



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Created by Sushma Gupta On May 27, 2001
Modified on 09/24/13