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Indian Jokes-9

1. An Apocryphal Story involving Russi Mody (Ex MD Tata Steel, Jamshedpur)

It is said that once Russi Mody was on an official trip to (the then) Bombay. Even though it was a Sunday morning, Russi had to visit Bombay House, the Corporate Head Quarters of the Tata Group. Russi was driving a Mercedes himself as it was a Sunday and there was very little traffic and also it was the chauffeur's day off. Russi was wearing simple shorts and a T shirt.

Knowing that he would take just a few minutes to finish his work in Bombay House and that it was a non-working day in the business district with very low traffic, he decided to take liberty to park his Mercedes in an other-wise no parking zone.

A conscientious traffic cop noticed all this and he immediately rushed to Russi who had started sauntering towards the Bombay House entrance.

In a gruff voice the Pandu Havaldaar asked Russi.
"Kyun bhidu, baap kaa sadak samajh ke gaadee rakhaa hai kyaa?"

Russi very non-chalantly replied: "Haan kuchh aisaa hee hai."
"Aapko English padhna aata hai kya?"

Then he gently held the Pandu's arm and walked him to the kerbside and pointed to the metal signage of the road. He asked the cop "Kya Likha Hai?"
The cop said "Sir Homi Mody Street".

With a mischievously smiling Russi discloses "Woh Mera Baap Thaa".
Russi was allowed to leave his car parked in the "No Parking" Zone that Sunday morning.

2. Rules That India Lives by.....

1.The Other Side Law:
If my side of the road has a traffic jam, then I can start driving on the wrong side of the road, and all incoming cars will be rerouted via Meerut.

2. The No Queue Rule:
If there is a queue of many people, no one will notice me sneaking into the front as long as I am looking the other way.

3. The Mind Over Matter Law:
If a red light is not working, four cars from different directions can easily pass through one another.

4. The Auto Axiom:
If I indicate which way I am going to turn my vehicle, it is an information security leak.

5. The In Spit Of Thing:
The more I lean out of my car or bus, and the harder I spit, the stronger the roads become.

6. The Cinema Hall Fact:
If I get a call on my mobile phone, the film automatically goes into pause mode.

7. The Brotherhood Law:
If I want to win an argument, I need only to repeatedly suggest to the other person that I have illicit relations with his sister.

8. The Baraat/ Marriage Right:
When I'm on the road to marriage, all the roads in the city belong to me. To ME.

9. The Heart Of Things:
If I open enough buttons on my shirt, the pretty girl at the bus stop can see through my mal-formed chest into the depths of my soul.

10. The Name Game:
It is very important for the driver behind me to memorize the nicknames of my children.

11. Parking Up The Wrong Tree:
When I double-park my car, the road automatically widens so that the traffic is not affected.

12. The Chill Bill Move:
When I park and block someone else's car I am giving him a chance to pause, relax, chill and take a few moments off from his rushed day.

13. The Ogling Stare:
If you don't ogle and drool at every hot Chick that passes by, you're gay.

14. The Bus Law:
If I stop my bus at the correct place near the bus stop, the city will explode and blow into 6 million pieces.

15. The VIP Rule:
There are only 3 important persons in this city - Me, I, and Myself.

3. Why India is in trouble.....

Population: 100 crore

9 crore retired

30 crore in state Govt;
17 crore in central Govt.
(Both categories don't work)

1 crore IT professional
(don't work for India)

25 crore in school

1 crore are under 5 years

15 crore unemployed

1.2 crore one can find anytime in hospitals

Statistics says that you find 79,99,998 people anytime in jail

The Balance is only two people - You and Me.

You are busy "checking Mails /sending fwds.. "..!!



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Created by Sushma Gupta On May 27, 2001
Modified on 09/24/13