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Indian Jokes-15

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Indian Jokes-15

1. Where to Cross the Border

If You Cross The North Korean Border Illegally You Get 12 Years Hard Labor.
If You Cross The Iranian Border Illegally You Are Detained Indefinitely.
If You Cross The Afghan Border Illegally, You Get Shot.
If You Cross The Saudi Arabian Border Illegally You Will Be Jailed.
If You Cross The Chinese Border Illegally You May Never Be Heard Again.
If You Cross The Venezuelan Border Illegally You Will Be Branded A Spy And Your Fate Will Be Sealed.
If You Cross The Cuban Border Illegally You Will Be Thrown Into Political Prison To Rot.
If You Enter Britain Illegally You Will be Arrested, Prosecuted And Sent To Prison And Deported

If You Are A Paakistanee or a Bangladeshee And Illegally Cross The Indian Border You Get
- A Ration Card,
- Passport (1 or more)
- Hajj Subsidy,
- A Drivers License,
- Voter Identity Card,
- Job Reservation,
- Special Privileges,
- Credit Cards,
- Subsidized Rent Or A Loan To Buy A House,
- Free Education,
- Free Health Care,
- A Lobbyist In New Delhi, With a Ready Television Channel & a Group of Expert Human Right Activists.
- The Right to Talk About Secularism, Which Was not Heard of Back Home.
And Of Course - Voting Rights!!

Hats off to the ********* in Delhi & Pseudo-secularists in Society, Who Elect Them.

2. Love Your Job

If you don't like your job, just be glad that you are not

an Electrician in China
or a plumber in Hungary
or a delivery service employee in Asia
or a deodorant tester in Germany
or a Zoo keeper in America
or a Horse Whisperer in England
or a Ditch Digger in Poland
or what is really a shitty job a mobile toilet cleaner !

Just be thankful for your job, enjoy your work and now hurry back to your job !

3. The Goan Slumdog

Our friend from Moira, Juze Bostiaum, appeared on "Kaun Banega Crorepati" show, Amitabh Bachchan hosted this show from Mumbai. Juze had miraculously reached the end of the rounds by saying all his Rosaries & Novenas & had already won Rs 50 lacs.

"You've done very well so far," said Amitabh, "but for Rs. 1 crore, you've only got one lifeline left - Phone a Friend. Everything's riding on this question... will you go for it?"

"Sure," said Juze. "Haum ek last chance maartaa!"

"OK..... The QUESTION is..... Which of the following birds does NOT build its own nest? (a) Robin, (b) Sparrow, (c) Cuckoo, or (d) Crow"?

"Heje mainchem cazar... I not knowing dat," said Juze, "so better use my last life line, and phone to my friend, Pedru Pochok- (Actual name: Pedro Pacheco) from Mumbai. He's a Mangy, but a Bandra boy, & born & brought up in Mumbai, so he's too smart - a real shaana buggar."

Juze called up his friend in Mumbai, told him the circumstances and repeated the question to him.

"Arree Baba!" cried Pedru, "Sarko Endo Mure Tu, Simple it is's a cuckoo."
"Ah-vois, sure mure Pedru?" asked Juze.
"Arre Baba, hundred percent sure re! Pakka!"
Juze hung up the phone & told Amitabh Bachchan, "I tell Cookoo."
"Is that your final answer?" asked Amitabh.
"Sarkem sure, Sir!"

There was a long, long pause, and then Amitabh Bachan screamed, "Cuckoo is the correct answer! Juze, you've won Rs..1 Crore!!"

The next night, Juze threw a big party for all the people from Moira, at the Moira Club. Pedru was specially flown in from Mumbai, as the Chief Guest.

Time for speeches ... Juze takes the mike & asks Pedru, "Saang mure, Pedru? Foo told you? How you know cuckoo isn't building its own nest? Otherwise you're sarko bondo & you know nothing about birds. Your Fadder or ticher (teacher) taught you, ah-what?

"C'mon yaaar! Bas-kya! What yor saying?" laughed Pedru. "You Goanese are sometimes such duffers. Man.. Everybody knows a cuckoo lives in a clock!"

An oldie but needs reiteration after the recent ruckus created by the MP's for a salary hike.

4. The Haircut

One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut.
After the cut, he asked about his bill, and the barber replied, 'I cannot accept money from you , I'm doing community service this week.' The florist was pleased and left the shop. When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there was a "Thank you" card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door.

Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replied, "I cannot accept money from you , I'm doing community service this week."
The cop was happy to hear this and left the shop. The next morning when the barber went to open up his shop, there was a "Thank you" card and a dozen donuts waiting for him at his door.

Then a Member of Parliament came in for a haircut, and when he wants to pay his bill, the barber again replied, "I can not accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week." The MP was very happy and left the shop. The next morning, when the barber went to open up, there were a dozen MPs lined up waiting for a free haircut.

[And that illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of our country and the politicians who run it.]



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Created by Sushma Gupta On May 27, 2001
Modified on 09/24/13