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Heaven and Hell Jokes-5

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Heaven and Hell Jokes-

1. Never Make a Woman Angry

A woman arrived at the Gates of Heaven. While she was waiting for Saint Peter to greet her, she peeked through the gates and saw a beautiful banquet table. Sitting all around were her parents and all the other people she had loved and who had died before her. They saw her and began calling greetings to her, "Hello. How are you! We've been waiting for you! Good to see you."

When Saint Peter came by, the woman said to him, "This is such a wonderful place! How do I get in?"
"You have to spell a word." Saint Peter told her.
"Which word?" the woman asked.
The woman correctly spelled "Love" and Saint Peter welcomed her into Heaven.

About a year later, Saint Peter came to the woman and asked her to watch the Gates of Heaven for him that day.
While the woman was guarding the Gates of Heaven, her husband arrived.

"I'm surprised to see you," the woman said. "How have you been?"
"Oh, I've been doing pretty well since you died," her husband told her. "I married the beautiful young nurse who took care of you while you were ill. And then I won the multi-state lottery. I sold the little house you and I lived in and bought a huge mansion. And my wife and I traveled all around the world. We were on vacation in Cancun and I went water skiing today. I fell and hit my head, and here I am. What a bummer! How do I get in?"

"You have to spell a word." the woman told him.
"Which word?" her husband asked.
"Pneumonoultramicro scopicsilicovolc anoconiosis". she replied.

Never make a woman angry.... there will be Hell to pay!
NB: The longest word currently listed in the Oxford dictionary is the supposed lung-disease pneumonoultramicros copicsilicovolca noconiosis (45 letters).

2. Married in Heaven

On their way to get married one couple met a fatal car accident.
The couple find themselves sitting outside the pearly gates waiting for St Peter to process them into Heaven.
While waiting, they wonder. could they possibly get married in Heaven?

So when St Peter showed up, they asked him if they could marry in the Heaven. St Peter replied, "I don't know."
This was the first time somebody asked this question from hum, so he again aid - "Let me go and find out."

The couple waited and waited. Two months passed, they were still waiting. As they waited, they discussed that if they were allowed to get married in Heaven, what was the eternal aspect of it all.
"What if it does not work?" They thought, "Are we stuck together forever?

One more month passed. Finally St Peter returned and looking somewhat bedraggled, he informed the couple that "Yes, You can marry in the Heaven."
The couple asked - "Oh, Great. But we were just wondering, if things do not work out, could we get divorce also in Heaven?"

St Peter, red-faced with anger, slammed his clipboard onto the ground.
"What's wrong?" asked the frightened couple.
"Come on." St Peter shouted, "It took me three months to find a priest up here. Do you have any idea, how long it will take me to find a lawyer?"



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Created by Sushma Gupta On May 27, 2001
Modified on 09/24/13