What do you think about these expressions?

People drive in a parkway or park in a driveway?

Why does your nose run and your feet smell?

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor,
while dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all your money is called a broker?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why isn't there any mouse-flavored cat food?

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes?
Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up like every two hours?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

When I sell liquor, it's called bootlegging; when my patrons serve it on silver trays on Lake Shore Drive, it's called hospitality.
-- Al Capone

Sometimes you have to believe that all English speakers should be committed to an asylum for becoming verbally insane:

If olive oil is made of olives, then
what do they make baby oil from?

A bus station is where a bus stops, a train station is where a train stops,
why the work does not stop at my work station?

If a vegetarian eats vegetables, then
what does a humanitarian eat?

There is no egg in eggplant, nor
There is any ham in hamburger;
Neither apple nor pine is in pineapple or
Neither custard nor apple is in custard apple fruit.
English muffins weren't invented in England or
French fries in France…
Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet all, are meat.
We find that quicksand can work slowly,
Boxing rings are square and
A guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
Read such things about Bombay, India

A writer is someone who writes, and a stinger is something that stings, then
why fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce, and hammers don't ham?

If the teacher taught, why isn't it also true that the preacher praught?

If harmless actions are the opposite of harmful actions,
why are shameless and shameful behavior the same?

You can turn a light on and you can turn a light off and
you can turn a light out, but you can't turn a light in.

The Sun comes up and goes down,
but the prices go up and come down.

Your nose can simultaneously burn up and burn down and
your car can slow up and slow down,

If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them,
what do you call it?

How come that the women can get pregnant, conceive or bear a child;
But when they can't they are neither 'impregnable', 'inconceivable' nor 'unbearable'?

How can on talk bluntly with a sharp tongue?

This is the unique lunacy of a language in which
Your house can burn up as it burns down,
You can fill in a form by filling out a form and
Your alarm clock goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why,
When the Sun or the Moon or the stars are out, they are visible,
but when the lights are out, they are invisible?

Why when I wind up my watch, I start it, but
when I wind up this essay, I shall end it?

In what language
Do people recite at a play and play at a recital?
Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?
Have noses that run and feet that smell?
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which
your house can burn up as it burns down,
in which you fill in a form by filling it out and
in which, an alarm goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

Why these words do not rhyme?

"Buick" with "quick"?
Put with But

Read some more about Up

Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread this stupidity and send the address of this page to someone you want to bring a smile to (maybe even a chuckle)... in other words, send it to everyone. We all need to smile every once in a while.