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Scientific Jokes-2

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Scientific Jokes-2

1. Fun Math With Raam Naam

Once a Guru or teacher was teaching Vishnu Ssahasra Naam (an Indian religious text) to a group of boys aged between 8-12 years.
Guru chanted the Shlok :--
Shree Raam Raam Raameti Rame Raame Manorame
Sahasranaam Tatulyam Raam Naam Varaanane

and told the students - "If you chant Raam Naam three times, it is equivalent to chanting the whole Vishnu Sahasra Naam or chanting Lord's Naam 1000 times."

Now one of the boys was very naughty and always had questions about everything the teacher said. Immediately he asked " Guru Jee, How can three times become equal to 1000 times, I do not get the logic. Please explain to us how that equation of 3 Naam =1000 Naam works?"

Guru Jee was not only smart, but was a great devotee of Lord Raam. In one moment, Guru knew how to explain the validity of the unusual equation. He said : "Lord Shiv says that the name of Lord Raam is the sweetest of all the words and chanting this name would be equivalent to chanting the whole Vishnu Sahasra Naam or thousand names of Vishnu.

Here is the interesting calculation by which we can prove that 3 times chanting of Raam Naam becomes equivalent to 1000 times chanting or chanting the whole Vishnu Sahasra Naam.

Take the name Raam. It has two letters RAA and MA.
When you take the consonants in Sanskrit alphabet, RAA is the second consonant in the group of five consonants Ya, RA, La, Va, Sha and MA is the fifth in the group of five consonants Pa, Pha, Ba, Bha, MA.

When you substitute the value of RAA and MA as 2 and 5
RAAMA is equivalent to 2 x 5= 10. Then,
Shree Raam Raam Raam (iti) is equivalent to 2x5 x 2x5 x2x5= 10x10x10= 1000.

The boy was happy with the answer and started learning Vishun Sahasra Naam with full concentration and devotion.

2. Marketing Explained

One professor at one IIM explaining marketing---

1. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: "I am very rich. "Marry me!"
--That's Direct Marketing.

2. You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says - "He's very rich. "Marry him."
--That's Advertising.

3. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her telephone number. The next day, you call and say: "Hi, I'm very rich. "Marry me.
--That's Telemarketing.

4. You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl. You get up and straighten your tie, you walk up to her and pour her a drink, you open the door (of the car) for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her ride and then say: "By the way, I'm rich. Will you "Marry Me?"
--That's Public Relations.

5. You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl. She walks up to you and says: "You are very rich! Can you marry ! me?"
--That's Brand Recognition.

6. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say - "I am very rich. Marry me!" She gives you a nice hard slap on your face.
--That's Customer Feedback.

7. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say - "I am very rich. Marry me!" And she introduces you to her husband.
--That's demand and supply gap.

8. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you say anything, another person comes and tells her: "I'm rich. Will you marry me?" and she goes with him.
--That's competition - eating into your market share.

9. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you say - "I'm rich, Marry me!" your wife arrives.
--That's restriction for entering new markets.

Teacher : Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
Donald : H I J K L M N O.
Teacher : What are you talking about?
Donald : Yesterday you said it's H to O.

Teacher : George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it.
Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
Louis : Because George still had the axe in his hand.....

Steven Wright

If you're not familiar with the work of Steven Wright, he's the famous Erudite (comic) scientist who once said:
"I woke up one morning, and all of my stuff was stolen and replaced by exact duplicates."
His mind sees things differently than most of us do. Here are some of his gems....

1 - I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
2 - Borrow money from pessimists -- they don't expect it back.
3 - Half the people you know are below average.
4 - 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
5 - 82.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.
6 - A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
7 - A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
8 - If you want the rainbow, you have got to put up with the rain.
9 - All those who believe in psycho kinesis, raise my hand.
10 - The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
11 - I almost had a psychic girlfriend.. . But she left me before we met.
12 - OK, so what's the speed of dark?
13 - How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?
14 - If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
15 - Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
16 - When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
17 - Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
18 - Hard work pays off in the future; laziness pays off now.
19 - I intend to live forever... So far, so good.
20 - If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
21 - Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
22 - What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
23 - My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder."
24 - Why do psychics have to ask you for your name.
25 - If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
26 - A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
27 - Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
28 - The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.
29 - To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
30 - The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
31 - The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.
32 - The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it.
33 - Everyone has a photographic memory; some just don't have film.
34 - If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

And the all-time favorite:
35 - If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work?

 
 

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Created by Sushma Gupta On May 27, 2001
Contact: sushmajee@yahoo.com
Modified on 10/16/13