Miscellanea | Religious Jokes
1. Catholic Shampoo
Shopping at a local grocery store, two nuns happened to pass by the beer, wine, and liquor section.
2. I am in the Secret Service...
Jack was in front of me coming out of church one day, and the preacher
was standing at the door as he always used to shake hands.
Jack replied, "I'm already in the Army of the Lord, Pastor."
3. Mom, What Are You Doing?
Once, 2000 years ago, Jesus came across an angry mob surrounding a
girl who was accused of being a harlot. The crowd were getting ready
to "stone" her to death, when Jesus said, "STOP! Who
among you is without sin can cast the first stone". Everyone
paused. Finally this old lady picks up a rock and drops it on the
girl's head. Thunk!!!
"Mom! What are you doing?"
4. Who Is Up There?
A nine year old boy asks his mother - "Maa, Is God male or female?"
5. The LOVELY Ten
What I Learned From Noah?
ONE: Don't miss the boat.
6. A Rabbi, a Hindu, and a Lawyer
A Rabbi, a Hindu, and a lawyer are in a car. They run out of gas and are forced to stop at a farmer's house. The farmer says that there are only two extra beds, so one person will have to sleep in the barn.
The Hindu says, 'I'm humble, I will sleep in the barn.' So, he goes out to the barn. In a few minutes, the farmer hears a knock on the door. It's the Hindu and he says, 'There is a cow in the barn. The cow is sacred for me and it's against my beliefs to sleep with a cow.'
So, the Rabbi says, 'I'm humble, I'll sleep in the barn.' A few minutes later, the farmer hears another knock on the door and this time it's the Rabbi. He says that it is against his beliefs to sleep where there is a pig, because pig is unclean according to his religion, and there is a pig in the barn.
So, the lawyer is forced to sleep in the barn. A few minutes later, there is
a knock on the door. This time it's the pig and the cow.....
7. Define Jesus
Wasn't English spoken then?
Who is Ananias?
That was Becket.
Who spoke Aramaic?
And what did Pontius speak?
And what did he say?
8. I am in a Mess
When God gave out brains,
When God gave out looks,
When God gave out noses,
When God gave out ears,
When God gave out chins,
When God gave out legs,
God bless, God bless!
Created by Sushma Gupta On May 27, 2001
Modified on 09/24/13