Marital Jokes-1
Short Laughs
Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You
order what you want, then when you see what the other person has, you wish
you had ordered that.
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Man to his Doctor - "Is there any way for long life?"
Doctor - "Get married."
Man - "Will it help?"
Doctor - "No, but the thought of long life will never come to your mind."
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"Why do couples hold hands during their wedding?"
"It's a formality just like two boxers shake hands before the fight begins."
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Wife - "Darling today is our first marriage anniversary, what should we do?"
Husband - "Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes."
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"It's so funny when people discuss Love Marriage versus Arranged Marriage."
"Why?"
"It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered."
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It is difficult to understand GOD. He makes such beautiful things as women
and then he turns them into Wives.
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Somebody sent this message on 4th of July - "If you are married please
ignore this message, for everyone else: Happy Independence Day."
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"Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something
you say.
After marriage, he'll fall asleep before you finish."
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There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic
banking. It's called marriage.
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Girlfriends are like chocolates, taste good anytime.
Lovers are like PIZZAS, Hot and spicy, eaten frequently.
Wife are like Daal RICE, eaten when there's no choice.
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A man receives a telegram - "Wife dead, should be buried or cremated?"
Man - "Don't take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash."
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Prospective husband - "Do you have a book called 'Man, The Master of Women'?"
Salesgirl - "The fiction department is on the other side, Sir."
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"Why dogs don't marry?"
"Because they are already leading a dog's life."
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There was this guy who told his woman that he loved her so much that he
could go even through hell for her. So they got married and now he is going through hell.
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Fact of life - One woman brings you into this world crying & the other
ensures you continue to do so for the rest of your life.
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There are 3 kinds of men in this world----
Some remain single and make wonders happen.
Some have girlfriends and see wonders happen.
Rest get married and wonder what happened!
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Pooree LIFE ko Sudhaarane k liye ek WIFE kaafee hai,
Par ek WIFE ko sudhaarane k liye pooree LIFE bhee kam hai
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Wives are magicians.
They can change anything into an argument
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Why women live a better, longer and peaceful life, as compared to men?
A very intelligent Sardaar Jee replied: "Because they don't have a wife! "
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"Why doesn't law permit a man to marry a second woman?"
"Because as per law you cannot be punished twice for the same offence."
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In a health forum speaker asks:
"Which food causes extreme suffering for years after eating it?"
After a long silence, an old man answered: "Wedding Cake"....
Dating process:
6 weeks : I love U, I love U, I love U.
6 months : Of course I love U.
6 years : GOD, if I didn't love U, then why the hell did I propose?
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Back from Work:
6 weeks : Honey, I'm home.
6 months : BACK.
6 years : What did your mom cook for us today?
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Gifts:
6 weeks : Honey, I really hope you liked the ring.
6 months : I bought you a painting; it would fit the motif in the living room.
6 years : Here's the money. Buy yourself something.
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Phone Ringing:
6 weeks : Baby, somebody wants you on the phone.
6 months : Here, for you.
6 years : PHONE IS RIIIING and RIIIINGGGG and RIIINGINGGG.
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Cooking:
6 weeks : I never knew food could taste so good!
6 months : What are we having for dinner tonight?
6 years : AGAIN?
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