Miscellanea | International Jokes
1. George Bush and Gurmukh Singh
Once George Bush was sitting in
his office wondering whom to invade next that his telephone rang.
"Well, Gurmukh," Bush replied,
"This is indeed important news! How big is your army?"
Bush paused. "I must tell you, Gurmukh
that I have one million men in my army waiting to move at my command."
Sure enough, the next day, Gurmukh
called again - "Mr. Bush, it is Gurmukh again. I'm calling from Phagwara
STD, the war is still on! We have managed to get some more inphantry
"Well, we have two combines, a
donkey and Harjit's tractor."
"Oh teree to ...." said Gurmukh.
"I'll have to get back to you again."
Bush was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat. "I must tell you, Gurmukh, that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My military complex is surrounded by laser-equipped, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I've increased my army to TWO MILLION!"
Gurmukh said - "Tera paalaa
hove...., I'll have to ring you back, Bush."
2. Intelligent Sardaar Jee
A cruise ship carrying people from all the nations was going on a 'round the world' tour when it got grounded. The ship became slow and finally came to a grinding halt. The Captain of the ship called an emergency meeting and told the passengers, 'Friends, we are in trouble. The Gods are angry with us. We need to give a sacrifice and I need Three people to sacrifice their lives so that rest of us can be saved.'
All of them moved towards the Deck where a
Japanese came forward and shouted, 'Long live Japan,' and jumped into the Sea.
Suddenly out of nowhere a Sardaarji came forward near the railing and chanted, 'Jo bole-so-Nihaal, Sat sri akaal, waahe Guruji da khaalasaa, waahe guruji dee fateh, Jai maa Kaalee, Jai Maa Durgaa, Jai Hanumaan, Jai Sri Raam, Jai Shiva Shankar, Jai Baabaa Naanak dee, Jai jawaan jai kisaan,' and finally yelled at the top of his voice, 'Bhaarat maataa kee jai,' and kicked a Paakistaanee standing next to him in the sea.
...and you thought - Sardaar are stupid.
3. Do You Still Think That Sardaar Are Stupid?
A Sardaar, a German and a Paakistaanee got arrested consuming alcohol which is a severe offense in Saudi Arabia, so for the terrible crime they were all sentenced 20 lashes each. As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheik announced - "It's my first wife's birthday today, and she has asked me to allow each of you one wish fulfilled before you are whipped."
The German was first in line; he thought for
a while and then said - "Please tie a pillow to my back."
The Pakistani was next up. After watching
the German in horror he said smugly: "Please fix two pillows to my back."
The Sardaar was the last one to express
his wish, but before he could say anything, the Sheikh Turned to him and said -
"You are from a most beautiful part of the world and your culture is one of
the finest in the world. For this, you may have two wishes!"
"Not only are you an honorable, handsome and powerful man, you are also very brave." The Sheik said with an admiring look on his face. "If 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it." And what is your second wish?" the Sheik asked.
Sardaar smiled and said - "Tie the Pakistani
to my back" !
4. Santa and a Londoner
Once a bet was set between Santa and a Londoner, that if Banta could not answer the Londoner's question, he would give $5 and if the Londoner could not answer Santa's question, he would give $500.
Santa told the Londoner to ask the question first.
Santa asked - "Which is that animal
which climbs up with four feet and climbs down with three feet?"
Created by Sushma Gupta On May 27, 2001
Modified on 09/24/13