Miscellanea | General Jokes
1. Some Short Jokes
1. Alee Baabaa and the Forty Thieves are now Ali Baba Thirty Thieves. Ten were laid off.
2. Batman and Robin are now Batman and Pedro. Batman fired Robin and hired Pedro because Pedro was willing to work twice the hours at the same rate.
3. Iron man is now "air-pooling" with Superman to save fuel costs?
4. A director decided to award a prize of Rs 1000 for the best idea for saving the company money during the recession. It was won by a young executive who suggested reducing the prize money to Rs 100.
5. Women are finally marrying for love.... and not for money.
6. The only "deposits" being made on a Ferrari are the ones made by birds flying over them.
7. If you're too lazy to start anything, you may get a reputation for patience.
8. I'm on a seafood diet. Every time I see food, I eat it.
9. I talk to myself because I like dealing with a better class of people.
10. Never try to drown your troubles... Especially if she can swim.
11. Smile, it makes people wonder what you're thinking.
12. Don't be so open-minded that your brain falls out.
13. A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk I have a work station.
14. By the time a man realizes that his father was usually right, he has a son who thinks he's usually wrong.
15. Teachers are those who help us in resolving problems which, without them, we usually wouldn't have.
16. Marriages are made in heaven. But so again, are thunder and lightning.
17. There are three sides to every argument: your side, my side and the right side.
18. An expert is someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it sound confusing.
19. When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets.
20. Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.
21. They say hard work never killed anyone, but why take the chance.
1. Q: With the current market turmoil, what's the easiest way to make a small fortune?
2. Q: What's the difference between an investment banker and a large pizza?
3. Q: Why have Dubai real estate agents stopped looking out of the window in the morning?
4. Q: What's the difference between an American and a Zimbabwean $?
5. Q What's the difference between a bond and a bond trader?
6. Q. Did you hear Goldman Sachs has a new cafeteria?
7. Q: What is the Capital of Iceland?
Advertisement In A Shop:
Ad In a Hospital Waiting Room:
On a bulletin board:
When I Read About The Evils Of Drinking...
My Grandfather Is Eighty And Still Doesn't Need Glasses....
You Know Your kids Have Grown Up When:
Sign In A Bar:
Sign In Driving School:
Behind Every Great Man,
The Reason Men Lie Is Because
Laugh And The World Laughs With You,
The Surest Sign That Intelligent Life Exists Elsewhere In The Universe
Sign At A Barber's Saloon In Detroit :
Sign In A Restaurant:
Some Funny Headlines
Include Your Children when Baking Cookies
1. Update on the Japanese Banking Crisis -
2. A concerned customer asked his stock broker if the recent market decline and volatility worried him. The broker told him that he has been sleeping like a baby. "Really?" replied the customer. "Absolutely," said the broker, "I sleep for about an hour, wake up, and then cry for about an hour."
3. Recession Bumper Sticker -
4. The Difference between Communism and Capitalism -
5. A priest, a rabbi, and a mortgage broker were all caught in a shipwreck. Sharks were soon circling around. The sharks ate the priest. The rabbi started praying fervently, but to no avail, as the sharks ate him as well. The mortgage broker is really getting worried, as a shark was coming for him. But, instead of eating him, the shark puts him on its back, carries him to the shore, and lets him off. The mortgage broker asks, "How come you didn't eat me too?" And the shark replied, "Professional Courtesy!"
6. two old friends meet and one tells the other about his son's engagement and how he was pleased about his new daughter-in- law's people. His friend enquires about them...
"What does the girl's father do?" ... He is in hardware.
Created by Sushma Gupta On May 27, 2001
Modified on 09/24/13